A win is a win is a statement any one may state while maintaining a humble persona rather than gloating over the triumph. However, a loss is not just a loss, and especially not when it is a loss of a loved one. Losing a loved one is much more than a loss, it can be a heart crushing, depression making event that takes a number of years to get over. This is especially the case when the loved one you have lost is a beloved pet.
Losing a pet is one of the most difficult experiences I have personally ever endured. In fact, I did not even want to keep my other pet because it reminded me of my Persian cat, and best friend, Princess. Yet, a single phone call changed my entire attitude toward my second cat, Tommy. Tommy is also a Persian cat and seeing him made my heart ache from the loss of Princess. But, when my mother telephoned me, she explained to me something I had not considered.
I was not the only one grieving. What a strange notion, I thought. Nevertheless, soon I realized it was true. Tommy really was grieving the death of his only feline companion he had ever known. Princess and he were best friends. For weeks every time the wind blew, Tommy would run around the house crying a cat cry for Princess. As you might very well guess, Princess had died on a very windy evening and somehow Tommy believed she would return when the wind blew again.
In addition, the vets returned with the urn containing the ashes of Princess and Tommy became hysterical. Later that evening, I dreamed I could hear Princess calling in her cat meow and in my dream I could even feel her hair as I dreamed she was beside me. I awoke rather abruptly and immediately decided I must toss her ashes or risk losing not only Princess but a good night's sleep as well. I contemplated where her final resting place would be. I opted for Punch Bowl cemetery in Honolulu.
It is straight up the hill from my apartment and the single most logical location that I felt was appropriate. At dawn, I took what was remaining of Princess, jumped in my car and headed for McDonald's. I wanted to share a last favorite breakfast while I said my goodbyes. Princess always loved the sausage McGriddles so I felt it was appropriate to include this ritual as part of her farewell ceremony.
The reason I am sharing this oh so personal experience is to let those of you know that it is ok to feel the way you do over a pet's loss. There is nothing stupid or ridiculous in mourning an animal. In fact, it is quite normal. In addition, just as the loss of a person can leave one devastated, it seems more often than not, the loss of a pet is even more traumatic. Perhaps it is the dependency the animal feels for his or her human that tends to amplify the event making it seem very surreal adding to the distress.
Whatever the case, it is very important to allow yourself the opportunity to experience the sorrow as part of the human grieving process. More importantly, if you have more than one pet, you must acknowledge the same grief is going to be experienced by the remaining pet or pets. Animals grieve too. Just as people do, and learning to understand, and comfort any remaining animals is very important in order to allow them the opportunity to overcome their loss. This was what my Mother was trying to explain to me during her call. Losing his best friend was a tragedy that Tommy was experiencing.
These events happened a little over two years ago and the thought of Princess still brings me to tears. Fortunately, Tommy had an easier time with her loss and now he has two sisters, Chloe and Eloise. The three of them do not play together, however, partly because Tommy is older and more sedate than the other two. But, every now and then when the wind blows, he will wander around and cry his little catcall for his long gone best friend.
Clearly, in respect to a pet, a loss is much more than a mere loss, sometimes it is a tragic event that a human must learn to cope with and move beyond.
