People say that you cannot own a squirrel. This is true. What they don't tell you is that you can, in fact, be owned by a squirrel.
It started out very innocently. My husband and I were sitting in our backyard watching the cute little squirrel running back and forth along the fence. I suggested we try feeding her. It took hours for her to take the peanut from my husband's hand but she eventually did. We felt very special. We had tamed a wild animal, gentled a true piece of nature. It wasn't long before she was actually trying to steal the peanuts from the patio table. How cute was that.
I like to read in the backyard. I take my book and my coffee and sit down at the patio table for a bit of a read. The first time the squirrel jumped on my lap we were both startled. We quickly recovered and she actually was taking peanuts while sitting on my lap. If we peel the peanuts, she will sit on your knee and eat them. It is very entertaining for our friends when they visit. We set the whole thing up. “Come look at our squirrel, she takes peanuts right off your lap”. Sure enough, we all go outside and our squirrel faithfully shows up to provide the evening's entertainment.
Things progressed to the point where whenever I go outside with my book and coffee, our squirrel is there within about 15 seconds. I honestly don't think squirrels can actually wire little monitors into their nests but they have some method of Intel devised to let them know exactly when you are coming out of the house. She runs along the fence, down the little path, around the lounge chair and right onto my lap. If I've forgotten the peanuts, she has no problem waiting for me to go into the house to get them. She bounces along behind me like a tiny puppy. If we are sitting on the patio and she cannot immediately find the peanut, she checks out your shoulders, your arms or your pockets, looking for her treat. If she thinks you won't be staying out too long, she buries the peanuts in the lawn so she can make the maximum use of her peanut scarfing time.
So, while we thought we were creating a “pet” squirrel, the truth is, she has “pet” people. We are conditioned and trained to either bring peanuts outside with us or to immediately get some should we forget. The sad truth is I am afraid to go out without peanuts and should we not have any in the house, I run from house to garage, hoping our squirrel doesn't see me. A quick dash to the store for peanuts, and honor restored, I can return home with head held high knowing my squirrel will be pleased with me.
