How often do you walk by "Rocky's" grave in your back yard and almost start to cry? How many story's are told in your family that has the phrase, "yeah, that was when Buster was still alive"? How many times do you look at your new pet and say to yourself, "Snowball wasn't like this"? When you search through your family photo album, do you realize that most of your pictures of the children have "Sammy" in them?
Losing a pet is like losing a member of your family. We have loved, cared for, and trusted our pets, and they give us unconditional love in return. They become close to our hearts, and will always be remembered with nothing but the same love they gave to us. Looking at photo's of them brings tears to our eyes. We hold so many fond memories of them.
To many, a pet is the child they never had. They love and nurture them. Spend time, money and effort on them, just like any parent would for their child. And all they want in return is the companionship that their pet gave freely. Their pets filled a void in their lives.
For others their pet was something the family shared. Children ran and played with the dog. Small fingers loved the feel of kitty. Adults found an evening walk was not only good exercise, but a memorable experience. Grandchildren giggled every time they heard the parrot talk. These pets had a special place in the family circle.
Whatever spot these beloved animals held, loosing them is always hard. Them being gone grieves us to the core. We miss them, and still talk about them to who ever will listen. They were a big part of your family structure, and everyone close to you feels the sting of that lose.
Understanding the loss is the first step in helping heal the grieving process. You have to admit to yourself that it does hurt to have a beloved member of the family pass away. There is now an empty place where once it was filled with wet, slobbery kisses.
It is ok for you to cry over your pets death. You don't have to be a "manly man", or take it like an adult. Crying helps us feel better. If you have children, this is a good time to explain to them about death. Don't sugar coat it. Talking to them will help you in the long run.
Talk about it. Talk to family members, friends, your vet or groomer. These people also knew your pet, and can fully sympathize with you. Talking helps us bring out emotions we would other-wise bury deep inside us.
Don't tell yourself it was just a pet. I really don't need to say this to most people, but sometimes people need to hear it. You took care of your pet. You loved him or her. He or she was loyal to you and loved you. Your pet was a big part of your family. It's ok to acknowledge that fact. It is ok to grieve over them.
One thing that makes some people feel better is getting a grave marker for your pet. Many pet stores sell them. By getting one, you will feel like you gave your pet a proper burial. Say a prayer for them, and lay them to rest. This will allow you to feel that you've given them the respect that you would give to any other family member.
There is one mistake that pet parents commonly make after the death of a pet. After a day or two, they go out and either adopt a new pet, or buy one from the pet store. Don't do this right away. You will always be looking for your new pet to be a copy of the one who passed on. You will expect your new pet to have same behaviors and manorisums. This isn't fair to you or your new pet. Give yourself time. Wait until you can put away the food dish and water bowl without crying before you get a new pet.
To all pet parents who have lost a loved pet, you have my deepest condolences, and my understanding. You will find the love that your pet brought to you again, it just may come in a new form.
