Money and Misfortune

Money has been called the “root of a evil” countless times and this may be true, but it's a fact, that you can't go far in today's world without it. I've never really bought into that mushy stuff about “livin' on love” anyhow. Before I go any further: I am not rich. Far from it. In fact if bad luck was money, I would probably make Bill Gates look poor. In fact at the time of this writing, I am going on about a month with no job, no callbacks, no sales on my music, my house is in foreclosure, my phone has been disconnected, I have 7 dogs, and one of them died last week, and a hawk killed another one the week before.

I have three pigs, five ferrets, six chickens, a cat, a smart mouth 15 year old that thinks drugs are cool, I've had two blowouts in less than a week, my stove quit working, my electric will be shut off in a few days, I had a snake in my bath tub, my tractor didn't sell on eBay, I have been chosen for jury duty but don't have the gas to get there, the county is after me for taxes on a business that has been closed for 3 years now, I am probably going to be an alcoholic soon, and I'm almost out of beer. I'm looking for an idea for a song. Any suggestions?

Oh, back to the money. I know: Why don't I send out emails to people with subject lines like: Dearest Beloved in Christ, and explain that I am the executor of a bank in Africa, and I have 3 million dollars, but I can't get it to you because I am not able to open a U.S. bank account unless you send me a “good faith” deposit of, let's say, ten thousand dollars to show that you are serious about “helping” me get rid of all of this cash in my bank in Africa, that can't use it. (Anybody ever get that email?).

How about selling jars of sand on eBay from the beaches of Florida? (Don't laugh, there are those people out there ).

I could find a rich uncle. (He'd have to adopt me).

Just thought I would shed some humor on my misfortune, because I still have Internet connection for a few more days.