This book describes the theory of transactional analysis. Harris begins his book by explaining the fact that our brains are high fidelity tape recorders. This means that as we develop, all of the information we take in, however mundane, is stored in our minds. This information effect the way we interact with other people later in our lives. Eric Berne, the originator of transactional analysis, used it as a simple way of studying the way people initiate and respond to social transactions. Harris goes into greater detail with his book. He believes that transactional analysis can be used to improve all areas of life. His book identified the three parts of every person that are integrated within each of us. The parent, the child, and the adult are describes by Harris as phenomenological realities that reveal themselves in varying strength during our social interactions. The parent is described as the part of our psyche that contains the archaic recordings of the authority figured in our lives. The parent determines what is right and what is wrong based on information that has been imposed upon us by others. The child is described as the part of the mind that experiences raw emotion without the benefic of the ration al mind. The intellect and the higher self are thought to be contained within the adult. Harris thinks that happiness and success in all areas of life is dependant upon a strong connection to the adult self, at all times.
Along with the three aspects of the self, Harris spends a good deal of time describing the four life positions that a person takes on in their lives. The first three positions are unconscious. They are taken on early in childhood and carried through into adulthood until a conscious decision is made to take on the fourth and most beneficial position. The three unconscious life positions that are adopted in early childhood include, “I'm not ok, you're ok”, “I'm, ok, you're not ok”, and “I'm not ok, you're not ok”. The first of those three positions is the most common of the three unconscious outlooks of transactional analysis. To a new student of the work of Berne, which was further developed by Harris, I would describe the first position, “I'm not ok, you're ok”, as a position which is taken on by everyone who is fortunate enough to grow up under typical circumstances. Harris thinks that the child of a mainstream developmental surrounding adopts the, “I'm not ok” position at the beginning of life. This makes sense in the fact that all infants are completely helpless. A human in the very beginning of life would naturally take on a not ok perspective of life. Unable to meet his or her own needs the helpless infant views the caregiver who meets their basic needs as a person in the, “ok” position. This common developmental construct inspires the “I'm not ok, you're ok” position. For the children who fall into less fortunate circumstances the other two life positions, formed in the absence of the adult, are subjugated. The “I'm not ok, you're not ok”. Position is taken on by those who would be considered as either autistic, or severely intellectually compromised. This destructive life position occurs when a young child sees neither him or herself, nor his or her caregiver, as a source of love. For the victims of the most tragic childhoods, an “I'm ok, you're not ok” life position is adopted. The “I'm ok, you're not ok” position leads to sociopaths and other people who harbor what our society would consider, “evil”. These callous individuals have endured extreme abuse from their caregivers and therefore, do not perceive love as force which comes from outside sources. They value themselves and no one else.
Harris believes that the fourth position, “I'm ok, you're ok”, can only be reached through the conscious effort of trusting in, and using the adult self in all areas of life. In the “I'm ok, you're ok” position a person can love and accept themselves while trusting that others will most likely love and accept them as well.
This book is based upon the ideas of Eric Berne, yet Harris provides a more in depth analysis of the way we are able to use transactional analysis to improve our lives. From my understanding, maintaining a committed relationship to the adult aspect of the self and trusting in its effectiveness to create constructive interactions with others is the best way, in fact, the only way, to reach the position of, “I'm ok, you're ok”. The mindful position of, “I'm ok, you're ok” guarantees a healthy and rational template for social interaction. It eliminates the irrational and/ or emotional parts of the self that create unpleasant social interactions. Furthermore, it can be used as a means to improve the lives of people who may not understand the world as we do. Harris firmly believes that people who are intellectually compromised are able to grasp, and use, the simple concepts of transactional analysis to improve both their behavior, and their quality of life.
