A humorous look at some of the pitfalls of parenting.
Every time you hear a child yelling for "Mommy" or "Daddy" in a crowded room, you turn your head. (Even when you KNOW your child can not possibly be there.)
Baby talk becomes your second language.
Your musical knowledge has expanded greatly and you know a lot of songs by heart - unfortunately, these new artists have names like The Wiggles, Barney and Veggies Tales (to name a few.)
Your idea of redecorating is to buy washable wall paint, because the refrigerator isn't the only thing to display your child's artistic ventures.
Clean clothes are to be treasured, because they just don't stay that way for long anymore. Silk, wool and other delicates have been retired to the back of your closet or given away.
Someone's child is having a tantrum at the store and you try to hide your smile or outright laughter, because for once it's not YOUR kid.
You feel like you're dying, but you still go to work anyway because you're saving your sick days for when the children become ill.
You can't take a shower or bath without at least five interruptions in as many minutes. (Teens are just as guilty of this as younger children.)
You don't know whether to hug them or throttle them after they've done something both naughty and clever.
You hear yourself saying things that you promised yourself would never come out of your mouth, like "…when I was your age…", "...if your friends jumped off a bridge..." and "... because I SAID so, that's why!'
You get sore throats frequently because for some odd reason you're using your outdoor voice a lot more than you used to.
You start to notice gray hairs even though you might only be in your twenties.
You actually enjoy taking out the garbage or doing other chores that get you out of the house, even if it's only for a minute or two, because at least you're away from the noise of your children's tantrum / video game / band practice /(place other noisy activity here)
You get down on your knees and thank your parents that they didn't kill you when you were a child. Because, Oh My God! Mom & Dad, what do you mean I was WORSE than this!?!
