Some kids live with their folks and never leave home, some never go back, but I was lucky. My eldest left home on time in the scheme of things, 18, but my son, my baby boy, left early, opting for military school when he was 15. I couldn't believe it - he wanted to go there! He must have known more than his parents, though, because he stayed there to the end of high school, then, two years of college.
He served as junior and senior class presidents, and president of the student body, the final dinner for which he invited his parents as honored guests. To top it off, he graduated as a Second Lieutenant in the Texas National Guard. The military requires a four year degree from college, but he had earned the rank in two.
There is a feeling that every proud parent feels -In Yiddish, it has a name - "kvell ." It is one of those words that doesn't translate, but you know what I mean - swell with pride, but more.
He never asked for a dime the whole time he was growing up, always managed to find gainful employment, including rent at the fraternity house he chose to pledge at TexasTech, his next adventure in education. Of course, after he left home, he had no use for family, any more than I could return home to Mom. While he was in military school, we moved from Plano to Brashear, to Abilene, and, what must have seemed to him, followed him to San Antonio, all in Texas. The kid was our stable influence for a change! Whenever he came home on vacation, he'd bring the greatest guys with him. We so thoroughly looked forward to those visits.
Once finished at Tech, he moved to San Antonio, there to attend St Mary's Law School, but when we visited and fell in love with the city, and just had to move there, he skedaddled just in the nick of time to Dallas, where he graduated from SMU with a degree in law.
The point to this biography, is that in all this time, he never once brought a young woman home to meet the folks.
I knew better than to question, but I had to wonder - did I expect a big wedding and grandchildren, or just a (gulp) wedding (?) and grandchildren(?). I am, after all, open-minded and warm-hearted, and would have swung either way with my child whom I adore, and not just because he happens to look like me, which is probably why he can do no wrong.
As a single man, he said, San Antonio did not present a target rich environment. He had a chance for a much fuller life if he stayed in Dallas, where he set out to practice the law. Of course, he failed to elaborate on his meaning of "target rich environment," but he came home, wherever that was, and knew enough to bring his inner child with him, that part of him that I hope he never loses. You know that part - he tickles his dad and leaves his wet towels on the floor, pickle juice on the kitchen table, but picks up Chinese on his way home from golf with his San Antonio buddies, any of whom could rely on us, and we on them like our own.
Well, sheever mee timbers - IT finally happened.
"I'm bringing someone with me for Thanksgiving dinner," said a familiar voice.
I cleared my throat, a stall for time. I still didn't know quite what to say.
"Oh?" I finally managed an answer. I know I kept my voice calm. I was so proud of myself, honest.
IT'S A SHE!
We ate turkey and yams, Amy met my mother, who was visiting from, California, my nephew, my sister, my husband and me. We played Monopoly, ate bagels on Sunday morning, floated around the pool, kissed the kids good-bye, congratulated each other and held our collective breaths.
Where had he found such a treasure?
A member of the Dallas Bar Association, he landed a job with a downtown employment litigation firm, the area of law which had called to him. One lunchtime, he walked down the block from the firm to Quiznos for a sandwich. Standing next to Amy in line, he struck up a conversation, and was so sorry when his lunch bag was handed to him. It was time to leave.
As they walked out of the sandwich shoppe together, he asked her out for a drink or something, sometime.
She looked awkward. "I' m engaged," she explained.
"Oh, well . Take my card, and if you ever need a lawyer, you know who to call," the cool but disappointed comeback.
He went back to the place he still called home, but then packed up his humdrum apartment where he had stayed until after graduation, but before he landed his job, moved uptown and went about his life.
