Many parents sometimes wonder if their children are gay or not, the first thing is to not assume that your child is heterosexual. For many parents this poses a problem, perhaps due to religious regulations or family history; yet the one thing that you must keep in mind is that your child has always been and will always be your child and you are the only mother or father that the child has. Whether you realize it or not, what you think means a great deal to your teen.
If you do not heed anything else, listen when I say that if your child has come out to you they are putting a great deal of confidence in you and in the fact that you will not hate them for the rest of their life. Also keep in mind that when your child comes out to you, (being that you're the parent) you're usually the last one to know. Let me make it a point here to mention that if your child does come out to you and does state that they are GLBT or Q (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning) they are not ill, not diluted, this is not a phase, it will never change because it never has. Your child was born gay and that's all there is to it. Under no circumstances should parental ties be severed based on such a human and uncontrollable trait like sexual orientation.
Now, when your teen decides to come out to you there is a right way and a wrong way to respond. Usually if your teen is coming out to you (the parent) they are very nervous. Do not get angry, do not yell, scream, shout, raise your voice, or in any way do anything that might be interpreted as a hostile act; if you do it is doubtful that your child will ever trust you with anything of importance again. Secondly, do not come across as uncaring or nonchalant; it has taken a lot out of your teen to come tell you such private information. Make sure that your child is sure of their sexual orientation and maybe ask them some questions about how they know, if they seem uncomfortable with such a question then play it off and remind them that it doesn't matter; you love them no matter what they are. If you are one of the parents that feel so strongly against homosexuality then do your child a favor and keep your mouth shut, if you try to belittle your teen it will only end in the termination of the relationship. Essentially the answer to the question is: love them; love you teen no matter who they are. I cannot tell you how many kids have come to me with such horror stories of their parents' reactions to their coming out, don't allow your child to become one of those stories. Remember, if your child is telling you then they trust you; don't betray that trust.
After your child has come out to you try to get involved in the GLBTQ community. Find your local PFLAG (Parents And Friends of Lesbians and Gays) chapter or check out the latest GLBTQ news. It doesn't matter what you do, just get involved. Stay informed on current issues and track current legislation concerning the GLBTQ community, it will show your child that you feel their okay and that nothing is wrong with them. This will also help educate your child on the current issues and unfortunate dangers of being GLBTQ today. Speak to your teen about safe sex practices and also emotional issues that arise with dating.
When your child starts dating treat their significant other just like you would treat someone of the opposite sex who was dating your child. Don't pry too much into your teen's dating life but do stay informed and make sure that they are making safe choices. Remember, if your teen tells you that they're GLBTQ then they love and trust you, don't forget to love and trust them in return.
