More than a few of my friends have related their disgust with just about everything. And who can blame them. The economy sucks and even if you have a job, you probably haven't had a decent raise in awhile. If you complain about not getting a raise someone is certainly bound to remind you that you're lucky to have a job.
My car and those of my friends are showing their age but even if we could afford new ones, what do we buy? Hybrids, crossovers, certainly not Hummers. We're looking at gas that's about to hit $5.00 a gallon and it doesn't help to hear that they're already paying that in Europe.
My older son, who has two very young sons of his own and a very good job, is finding that no job is good enough to pay for all the things you need for your children and your wife with a little left over for savings. Savings? What is that he wants to know. And my grandchildren are nursery school age and younger.
So the funk is here. How do we drag ourselves out of the pity party and back on track with our lives. My sons, they both have young children, want to be great role models for their kids and for the most part they are just that. But they worry what their kids will think if they tell their kids they can't afford to buy something, especially if it's something my sons feel they should be able to give their children.
Well, that's nothing new. When my sons were little, their father and I wanted to give them the moon. We had enough to give them a lot but the moon was not in the budget. So we gave them what we could. Today, as I look at my sons, both in their 30's, I think we did a pretty good job. We couldn't give them every material thing they wanted and that's a good thing. They learned to work for what they wanted and they didn't think any less of us for letting them know that there were limits to what we could provide.
If we're in a funk because we don't feel we can live up to our own expectations, maybe we need to take a look at what we expect of ourselves. If we live in an apartment as opposed to our own home, does that make us less worthwhile as parents; as providers. Is asking our families not to go whole hog on fancy wardrobes an admission of failure?
Before we beat ourselves to a pulp, let's take a look at what we do provide. Each of my sons has a similar experience when he arrives home from work each night. “Daddy, daddy, I love you.” A big hug and kiss, sitting in daddy's lap and telling daddy all about what you did at pre-school are priceless moments. Asking for one more bedtime story, one last drink of water and wanting daddy to be there when they close their eyes and drift off to sleep; what more can a man ask for. A warm dinner, cooked by a loving wife who has taken the time to cook and clean, do the laundry, run the errands and take care of the kids and still lets you know how grateful she is that she said, “I do;” some men would kill to be greeted each night this way.
Whatever funk we're in is of our own making. We expect to provide our families and ourselves with the moon and the stars and we want everything to come off without a hitch. It won't happen that way but that's all right. The moon and the stars are right there if you look for them. They're in the eyes of your spouse and your children. They're in the splashing bathwater where you get as wet as the kids and everyone gets a good laugh. They're in the eyes of a puppy that sleeps in front of the kids' bedroom door, protecting his treasures, and yours.
Forget the funk. The weekend is coming soon and you get to kiss and cuddle and hold those you love extra tight. And the kids won't care if the pool they splash in is the blow up variety. It doesn't matter as long as daddy is there to splash with them. That's what superheroes do.
