How do you decide on an approach?
Don’t take my word for it, spend the months leading up to the birth of your child deliberating and looking at all perspectives.
What may be perfect for one couple, may indeed be absolute hell for another, this really is a very personal and individual decision to make.
I have changed my mind so many times, I wake up some days riddled with guilt about the thought of leaving my baby, and other days I wake up and wish I was going back to work there and then.
It is O.K to change your mind. But one thing you must ensure, is that both partners within the relationship are in full agreement. If there is any doubt in either persons mind, then this can lead to a conflict of interests later down the line.
Work out financially what is practical, first and foremost. You may be eligible for some form of ‘Tax Credit, or other benefit, if this is the case it may benefit you to return to work, as in some circumstances the Inland Revenue pay more to parents who work.
What’s out there in terms of local childcare?
I scoured the internet and local newspapers looking for what types of childcare were available local to us.
Cost was an important element to our final decision, but when we walked into the nursery where our son will be going, we just knew it was the right choice.
You must feel totally comfortable with your decision or you will spend your entire day at work torturing yourself over the welfare of your child.
Ensure you check out the credentials of the childcare provider. Ask for references, and follow them up.
If the childcare provider is a ‘registered’ concern, then you will be able to claim a form of Tax Credit based on the fact that you work, and are paying a registered child carer.
Choices for the ‘stay at home mum’
Your Health Visitor will no doubt be your best source of information.
Make sure you don’t isolate yourself from the outside world. If you have access to parenting groups or similar, then give it a try.
It may not be entirely for you, and in my case it very much wasn’t.
Instead some women are lucky enough to stay in contact with women from the ante-natal group.
In my case I met a couple of ladies whilst in hospital and we keep in touch regularly which is great as the babies are all a similar age.
If you choose to stay at home, ensure you make time for yourself. Accept offers of help from friends and family. If you don’t you may be in danger of creating a resentment towards your child for robbing you of your freedom.
