There is a question that comes into the life of every parent; do you spank or not spank your child? I wonder if it is possible to be a quasi-advocate for spanking, because that is exactly where my opinion lays on this subject. My stance is squarely on the middle of the fence; somewhere that I really do not find myself very often.
I know I was spanked as a child, not beaten, but spanked when the situation clearly called for it. I have met and talked to others who were hit beyond spanking; with a belt or a switch for instance. This is clearly above and beyond in my mind. I am not an advocate for abusing a child, or inflicting any kind of pain. In my mind a spanking is a physical act that gives a child kind of a mental head slap that lets them know that what they are doing is beyond their typical simple wrongdoing.
In the past three years I have been the parent of a seventeen-month old, a sixteen year old, a five year old, a three year old, and a six-month old. Now, I am not living in a situation like the movie, “Your, Mine and Ours” or any sort of “Brady Bunch.” I am a foster and adoptive parent.
As such my husband and I have signed papers certifying that we will not spank any foster or adoptive child put into our care by the great state of Connecticut . Some of the time this is very easy, kids have always seemed so innocent and honest to me.
I have never been so wrong in my entire life, my five year old daughter will lie about absolutely anything and for no other reason that she wants too. It makes me crazy. She also rolls her eyes at me, screams when things don't know her way, sucks her teeth, and argues with every word that comes out of my mouth. Now if that is not a cause for spanking I am not sure what is. But, I swear that my husband and I have not spanked her. We have both had the opportunity to want to spank her, but neither of us have done it.
Lately, my three-year old foster son also seems to be asking for a spanking, yelling at me, hitting me, and throwing tantrums that rattle the walls. For those I am simply going to invest in ear plugs.
The question remains though; to spank or not to spank. Does violence beget violence, or does a small spanking teach a child that something as harmful as playing with matches is something that has dire consequences.
I guess time will tell if my children will turn into respectable and responsible members of society without a spanking here or there to get their attention
