On the way to the mall
I am not a brave person. Nor am I a shopper. So when I decided I needed to go to the mall with my grandson, I had to wonder what had gotten into me. I needed to get some things at Victoria 's Secret (yes, even grandmothers shop at Victoria 's) and our 19 month old was in such a rare good mood I thought “why not”.
Luckily the drive to the mall is a long one and I came to my senses. I knew there was no way I was going to keep him in a stroller for any length of time and, even though I need the exercise, I wasn't up to chasing him throughout the mall.
Strip mall
But the trip wasn't wasted. I also needed some wine glasses and a centerpiece for a dinner party. So past the mall we went and ended up at an import store in a strip mall. This was better – they have shopping carts. Feeling good about this decision I waltzed into the store smug in the knowledge that our guy could be good – he was in a shopping cart so this was like a grocery store. Right?
I've been in this store many times before but had never really noticed how narrow the aisles were. Now, with a toddler in my cart, it was quite apparent that the isles were designed to get as much merchandise in the store as possible. If he stretched his arms wide, this El Nino could reach both sides of the aisle and take whatever he wanted off the shelves.
This might not be so bad in a toy store but most of the housewares and knick-knacks in this store were breakable. I was thinking that I should have gone to Victoria 's. The fashions in that store may be unmentionable but they are also unbreakable.
As I mentioned, I needed wine glasses. Imagine that aisle – glasses on both sides within reach of a boy who can't keep his hands still. Even though I don't shop often, when I do go shopping I want a bargain so I had to study the glassware to make sure that I got the best price possible. So I stopped in the aisle – the glass aisle.
First thing little boys teach you is that stopping the shopping cart is not allowed. Primal screams emit from these wee people when the stimulation of moving has stopped. In the midst of the screams and several arms and hands extending to the glass, I was able to secure four wine glasses and place them carefully in the cart. I had won that battle and was feeling pretty superior when I saw the little hand reach right into the cart and nab one of the wine glasses. Lesson learned – I am not superior to that little boy and he WILL win the war.
Shopping distractions for Children
I needed something to distract the hands and mind of this child; wine bottle – no; coffee mug – no; pizza cutter – no; floor rug – no. I'm beginning to panic now. Deep down in the chest of this boy I hear the beginning of another primal scream. Then I spotted it. A candle. I needed one anyway . “Here little boy, play with the big candle”. The hands got quiet and took the candle into them. Thinking that I was saved, I look away for a second. Literally a second. Wham, the candle is thrown onto the floor. Come to find out, candles can be damaged. Well, I needed it anyway.
I finally gave up and started to make my way to the check-out counter. No matter what, you need to stop at the counter to pay for your purchases. Have I mentioned what happens when you stop the motion of the shopping cart? Before the scream could escape from his lips, the boy saw all the buttons on the atm/credit card machine and immediately extended his arms to twice their length and began pushing the buttons. Finally, after three tries we got the transaction completed and were ready to leave. As I was pushing the cart out the door, my precious little guy let out the cry of the wild. It was answered by another wild toddler located in the back of the store. The baton had been tossed and now it was up to another grandmother to try and control her toddler who answered our cry.
We were off to the book store to relax for a while but that's another story.
