Loneliness is also an issue with children who are in divorced families. Children may feel neglected during. “Just as you may feel alone during this time children also may feel very alone in their experiences” (Moskovitch). They may feel they are the only ones who have gone through this and no one will understand. That is why even if children do not want to talk parents need to talk to their children about what is going on and why things have to be this way. “They need to know the truth” (Moskovitch).
“While parents may confide in friends, most children do not” (Moskovitch). This is not good for any child; because then they start to bottle up that hurt and that is when they get angry, depressed, and lonely. If they do not want to talk to parent then they should at least talk to a counselor or a pastor or someone they trust, about what is going on in their family Parents need to realize that while children get angry, mad, or upset what is really wrong is that they are lonely, they want someone to talk to they want everything to be okay and normal and if the parent is to busy they do not know who to go to.
Children might be scared that their friends might judge or make fun of the fact that their parents are getting a divorce. Others may feel like their friends are only their friends because they feel sorry for them. Loneliness is one of the biggest issues with divorced children. It leads to so many of the other effects and issues of divorce on children.
There are many more things that can come as a result of a divorce a big one is guilt. Children ask a lot of questions such as, did this happen because of me? Did I do something wrong? “Sometimes children wonder if divorce is their fault. They might worry that they mad their mom or dad mad enough to go away” (Roger). This is not true; divorce has nothing to do with the children, parents need to remember to tell their children this over and over again. “A divorce is about grown up problems and only grown up problems” (Roger). That is the most important thing parents can tell their children during and after the divorce.
“Nothing you did made your mom and dad get a divorce” (Roger). Children need to realize they are not the cause of their parents break up, fights, and arguments they also need know at the same time they cannot bring their parents together again, as much as they want to! They just need to know that nothing they can say nothing they can do will make their parents stop loving them. Nothing they can do or say will make them love them more or less! Other results of divorce have to do with parents/children relationships, “… painful memories and ongoing worries about divorce their relationships with their parents and their parent relationship with each other” (Emery).
Children may lose the respect that they had for their parents as a result of the divorce, especially if one parent does not visit or show any interest in the child or children. Parents need to make sure this does not happen, it is hard enough for children during this time they do not need to lose a relationship with their parents like their parents have done with each other!
In conclusion although most children do not experience a lot of these things, “the great majority of children whose parents divorce do not develop these kinds of serious behavioral or emotional problem” (Emery). Children do experience something whether it is traumatic or not does not matter. Divorce is very stressful for parents but it can be just as stressful for children. Although many com out without any real pain or difficulties, most do not and deal with behavior issues, attitude issues, loneliness, and much, much more. This is how divorce affects children and is why divorce is not a good thing. It does not just hurt the two people getting a divorce but also the people who love them who have to sit back and watch all the hurt that they are bring on their family.
