I had an interesting conversation this evening about (parents, hide your children's eyes)…the change in the allowable limits in teen human sexuality. Now, keep in mind I am the parent of a 14 year old daughter, a 12 year old son and an 11 year old daughter. I guess I've kept my head in the sand, but the two guys I had the discussion with were 25 and 24…not to mention the horny (but way hot, even to them) 39 year old woman. What it all came down to was the difference between men and women, and the way society has gotten so…open… compared to when I was 14. It kinda started about how naturally men are more hard wired to be promiscuous (Please, nobody argue it, you know it's true) in the way of sex. It's genetic, we are meant to spread seed, women are meant to be selective in whose seed they receive…if you don't believe me, just watch the Discovery Channel for a few hours….we're all mammals. But what was the most interesting about the whole thing was the girls point of view…Men are wired to chase women, women are wired to hold them…gotta do the hunter, gather thing. Looking at the difference between 9 months until next, and…Hell, give us 9 hours. (Sorry, I'm trying to relate a 3 hour conversation in less than 300,000 words). It all goes back to basic genetic hard wiring…and she admitted that we were right about it, and there was nothing that was going to change…
That was the first hour of the conversation, but the following part is the one that really made me think. I can't afford to let myself worry about this, otherwise I'd never sleep - read back to my kids ages - but the things they see on commercials nowadays I'd have to hope my folks would go play bridge so I could watch HBO back then. We talked about our first time (you know what I mean), and I was happy to say mine was at 18. Theirs was 15-16…
I said something about mine being good kids (and they are), and ***** (no names) reminded me about when I hit first hairs….”You remember all the conversations you had when you were 16? - they are having them at 12 now. You know it, just look at what they are exposed to, what they are used to. Anymore it's 12-13 for their first.” My lame rebuttal was something about all the ads about aids, and teen pregnancy, and whatever else, in the hopes that it would scare them away, at least for a while. He just looked at me and said that all that does is teach them how to unwrap a Trojan (my paraphrase, but you get the idea).
Then he proceeded to tell me about the things they probably (most likely do, without a doubt do,) discuss at the lunch table, and I really had no honest reason to refute it. Especially knowing my oldest daughters best friend - I won't pick her friends, it's a waste of time - I'm sure they do. At that point…we just went and played some pool…the horny 39 year old (and trust me, she's hot) went home with one of the kids, the other one got a ride home, and I walked home, tried to think this out, and not sound like Ward Cleaver.
Please do not think this is a rail against society, because I know that would be a waste of time. It isn't a lament about the loss of innocence; that would be a waste of emotion. I guess….maybe it's a vote of faith in my children, and the hope that, even though I haven't been Ward or Ozzy (Nelson, not Osbourne), I hope I've been enough of a dad ….
I guess it is a lament about the loss of innocence…damn.
