To say that being a mother is no easy job is a understatement.
I toiled with the idea that before my son was born, I was being Told by some that having a baby at the age of 22 was not good. I realized that I had to make a choice for myself, not for my parents.
I did not want to have an abortion. I knew within myself that somehow this child was going to bring me some new revelation into my life.
At the age of two, my son was talking. He was singing. And then one afternoon, I went to the grocery store not far from the house. His uncle was baby sitting him, and I trusted this person. I had a strange feeling when I left home to walk just a few blocks away. I turned around and came back home.
When I put my key in the door, the door was locked from the inside, and I could not get in. I knocked loudly and my brother in-law came to the door, in a huff.
When I came into the apartment, my son was sitting in the sun parlor. He was just sitting there. I grabbed him up into my arms. He was catatonic. I was suddenly afraid that his uncle may have
molested him. I did not want to accuse him of this to his face. I was not sure of foul play, but a mother's instinct said something was definitely not right. I could not sleep for weeks after. I would stay up all night and read while he slept. Around this time, my son was diagnosed with Asthma. He was put on
a series of medication, and this was increased as he got older.
I took him back to the same doctor who was the only doctor that he would allow to see him, and
Touch him. He gave me a referral to the Siegal Institute of Chicago. When we went for the first session, I did not understand a word the therapist was saying. She explained that my son was displaying five of the symptoms of Autism. Her final diagnosis was Autistic likeness with borderline
schizophrenia. How can you be borderline, my reasoning was you are or you're not. Well, I faced a
great challenge. His father did not understand this and he went further into his addiction. I was faced with the challenge of raising an Autistic son alone. I felt devastated and alone. My family kept saying “Oh there's nothing wrong with this child, he'll grow out of this eventually.” Well, eventually never came, and I was lost at what I was going to do.
School was a trial and error situation. The very first day was madness. He would not sit, he would not participate, he was all over the place. The teachers did not understand what was wrong. They tried to
get him involved in the activities, and he would not focus. The medication for his asthma was causing him to be over active. The combination of him being Autistic and on this medication, made him “The wild child!” I was at my wit's end. I remember trying to hug him and he did not want to be hugged. He wanted to run.
On one occasion, we were on our way down town. He was seven at the time. We were standing on the
Train platform. I was admiring a passenger's pretty baby. My son began to run on the train platform. He ran to the edge of the train tracks, I felt my heart leap out of my chest. He ran to the very edge, and paused as he looked down on the tracks. He slowly turned his head to look back at me as if to say, “whoa, that was close.” By now my knees are jelly, and I could not move. “I growled, “Get over here mister.” He slowly turned and return to be by my side. I grabbed his hand , and from that day forth we
Walked together arm and arm. He learned to do this so well, that even now he walks right next to me
And sometimes directly behind me.
The behaviors of Autism is different in each child. I often have felt that he is actually from another planet. He could do some pretty amazing stuff. I realized pretty early on that I would either lose my mind or I would have one heck of a since of humor. I learned to laugh at some situations to keep from crying. He and I was traveling home one day, and he stepped in some doggie doo. He was three feet in front of me, and I reached to grab him before he had done something to his shoe. Of course this was
Not how it would turn out. When he realized I was fussing because of the doo on his shoe, he looked down, and before I could get to him, he wiped it off with his hand. Talk about a stinky situation.
