Head lice are awful. I was always told it was no shame to get head lice, but it was a shame to keep them. When your children have head lice, they seem to be the size of cows and as vicious as wolverines. You just know that everyone can see them, hear them, and smell them. The reality of it is that most people will not know that you or your children have head lice unless you do not take care of them promptly and properly.
Just hearing the words head lice can make your skin crawl and your scalp itch. It always seems like every neighborhood has a lice factory. It is usually disguised most often as a little girl. She always wants to play with your kids and is in a class at school with at least one of them. Here comes the note!
A note on school letterhead is carried home by one or more of your children. You pray that it will tell you what a monster your child is, but you know the message that it contains. You have heard rumors. Your kids have mentioned the "L" word a few too many times. As you break the seal, your pride begins to sink. After the word "Dear" comes the inevitable dreaded statement: "Nits and head lice have been discovered on your child."
You look at the windows and doors to make sure that no one is snooping. You ask your child how many of these letters went out with the kids after school. A few too many for comfort and not nearly enough to cover your secret.
Now comes phase two of the embarrassment train. You have to go to the store or pharmacy and buy the products that have only one use. They kill head lice and nits. Plotting a strategy to hide the purchase without being thought of as a thief, you head to the store. You have considered a disguise, but realize that it might cause more problems than it solves.
Like buying feminine products or birth control items, you must be subtle. However, you will have to stand in front of the incriminating shelf of products until you can make the right selection. It was better when you just had to confess to a pharmacist who pulled it from behind the counter and put it straight into a bag. Now, the whole sees you with the Rid, Nix, or some other product that is deadly only to head lice.
You cover the items in your cart until the last minute. By avoiding eye contact with the checkout person, you believe that he or she will not notice what you have purchased. You pay for the purchase and dash out the door praying that your bag does not tear and spill lice poison out for the world to see.
Most of the embarrassment is over. Wash their hair and your hair. Launder the bedclothes. Spray coats and other things and put them in a trash bag while the poison works. Comb out the nits. Take a deep breath. Your pride is bruised but not broken. You see the notes again in the hands of neighbor's children as the walk up to their doors. You smile and feel sorry for them while rejoicing that it is not you this time.
