Teenager and privacy are two words that don't fit well into a sentence with me. I believe that all children are entitled to some amount of privacy. However, I do not believe that a teenager is entitled to any more privacy that an eight year old. Sometime I feel they are entitled to less privacy and more respect for feelings and moods.
I think parents often fall into the belief that they need to respect the privacy of their children. But what privacy is rightfully their aside from the privacy of their body? Allowing things to happen under the context of respecting one's privacy is a dangerous game to play.
There is so much going on in the world today through technology that privacy should no longer be thought of as an automatic right. I believe my child is entitled to privacy when he is in the restroom, showering and changing. Aside from that, all else is fair game. The cell phone... I pay the bill, I can look through the phone. Due to technology, the reality of certain situations escapes the teenage mind.
So much is done through words on a screen with nothing real in front of you to back it up. The reality of sex and sexual talk is no longer there is the effectiveness of words in just simply read and responded to. No actions are real. My child is fully aware that trust is based on my ability to check up on him. It is through checking up on him that trust can truly be established and respect can be given. Children can no longer be given the benefit of the doubt because we feel we raised them well. The technological world did a pretty good job of raising them as well.
Checking up on my child has allowed me to establish trust and respect for him. Because of this, I can allow privacy that I feel comfortable with and not allow him an excuse to use privacy as a way of being sneaky or not forthcoming.
The computer gets used in a place where it can be seen if an adult walks by. The cell phone gets checked regularly so we are aware of what topics we now need to discuss. Friends hang out here versus him over there. Because we check up on him, we are positive that he is living as we have raised him and we allow him more freedom and more privacy because of it. We allow privacy at our discretion.
So often, teenagers shut themselves up in their rooms and away from their families and use privacy as a reason for that. Think about it, how much of your life is really private away from your children? They stand outside the bathroom door and beg for an answer, they never knock, they always want to know who you were talking to. They ask where you are going and when you will be back and who you are going with. Why do we feel as if we owe them do much more?
