My eldest child recently "graduated" from elementary school and it was shortly after attending her ceremony that I realized that my parenting ride is going by so fast it is hard for me to believe it started a mere 11 years ago.
As moms we tend to put so much pressure on ourselves to be and do everything. We sign our kids up for every conceivable activity and push for them to do everything we did not as children. At the end of the day we are stressed out and can't sort out why live seems so hard and moves so fast that we are tired all the time.
Here are six ways to lessen the burden and try to enjoy this roller coaster ride called parenting a bit more:
- If you can; sacrifice: if you can find ways to spend less and have one parent stay home, do. It is such a short time that the kids are at home and it goes so fast that for a few years, live in a smaller house, eat out less or take inexpensive vacations so that both parents aren't running mad all the time to support a bigger lifestyle.
- Limit your kid's activities: I know there is pressure to expose your children to everything so that they can be competitive but sometimes it is just piling on. Choose one sport per season and maybe one instrument if that is important to you. If your child loves it or shows signs of a natural ability; run with it but not every child is going to grow up to be a world class soccer player because they were signed up every season from the age of 3. Encourage them to try new things but focus more attention on what they are really good at and love and they will have a better chance of finding a way to make it a part of their lives as they grow.
- Don't compare or compete: the "Go Family" next door might seem to have it all under control; they are constantly running from activity to activity both parents working full time and playing full time. You may feel you should be doing the same but not only might this not work for you or your family; things are not always as perfect as they seem. This may be the family that shocks you one day by announcing they are getting divorced or one of their children ends up in big trouble. Too much pressure gets to everyone eventually however some people are better at masking it.
- Sometimes just STOP: every once in a while, just stop running and hang out. Don't answer the phone, miss a baseball game or say no to a social event. Spend a whole day at home in your pajamas with your kids and play games or watch movies and eat popcorn. You might not believe it but these are the things kids will remember most fondly when they get older, not how many baseball games and swim meets they were taken to during the season.
- Forgive yourself: no parent is perfect. We have all said or done things we regret and sometimes, more than once. When you lose your temper or forget to bring the cake for your child's birthday, take a deep breath and forgive yourself first. Your family will survive and you can often use these moments as teaching tools if approached with the right attitude. Show your children that everyone makes mistakes and what makes a person is how they handle themselves afterwards.
- Focus on Love: in the end it is how much your children understand about your love for them that matters, not what their extracurricular activity calendar looked like. Make sure that in the rush to do all you feel the need to do you have not forgotten to tell them every day how much they as people mean to you.
If we can relax and enjoy this parenting trip
