It never fails to amaze me how the parents seem perplexed about how to raise their children and maintain their respect. How did we get to this place?
Mulling over the facts, I've realized that in this society (America) we have many parents who have never really had a parenting structure modeled for them. With teen pregnancies running rampant, and young mothers raising young girls who end up being young mothers themselves, it's no wonder there is so much ignorance about what it takes to raise a child. I thought back to my Kenyan upbringing where the village truly raises the child and realized how grateful I was for the legacy. The strength of our culture is in the fact that mothers can turn to their mothers and other older women for advice on how to raise the child. Motherhood is modeled for us on a consistent basis and we learn by taking care of our siblings. I still remember washing diapers (nappies for those with a British background) for my younger siblings, preparing feeding bottles, and rocking them to sleep at a very young age. It was not difficult to do and I learnt many things that I use with my child today.
Respect was expected always. We could not call adults by their first name, nor were we allowed to raise our voices to our elders. Obedience was to be immediate with dire consequences for disobedience. The culture helped "peer pressure" us into acceptable behavior and we learnt how to deal with each other on a respectful level. Everyone served as the eyes and ears for your parents, and they made sure that you did not misbehave when your parents were not around. Some of you can remember that you would get in trouble with the family friend who would proceed to punish you.
You would come home and your dastardly deed was already household knowledge. Your mother would administer round 2 of the punishment and leave you with the sobering promise that Dad was going to deal with you next. He came home later and would administer round 3 of the punishment. It certainly made you think long and hard before you misbehaved. Let us hold tight to the things that have allowed us to grow into strong, independent people. Discipline has produced adults who know who they are, know what they want, and know where they are going. The security of a world with rules and regulations provides the structure that is very important for a child. It is also how they learn how to make decisions on their own.
Help your child learn how to obey the rules, respect people and things, and take responsibility for their actions. Allow them to suffer the consequences of their decisions so that they learn that what they do determines where they go and what happens to them. It sharpens their wisdom and prepares them for a cold, harsh world. Give them the tools of success so that they can make their way and do exceedingly well. They are entrusted to us to provide the best for them and prepare them to be the best that they can be. Let us not let them down.
