Just be sure that whoever will be doing the care taking has a list of any medications that need to be administered, the time it needs to be taken, the method (with or without food, a certain amount of time before or after another medication, etc.) and a way to contact you in case of an emergency. I ended up having a bleeding ulcer at the age of 16 because of stress so I strongly advise taking a break whenever possible.
Also, be prepared for everything. Since many people do not have last wills or prepaid funeral plans, if you aren't able to have one made, try to find out what your loved one's wishes are. Some people will feel like you are trying to measure them for a casket but you need to explain that you would like to know because if anything happens, everyone in the family will know exactly what their wishes were. Some hospitals and doctors' offices have living will booklets that are very helpful too. You fill in your wishes for things like life support, resuscitation, preparation of your body, funeral or memorial service information, etc.
These are legal documents once they are signed by witnesses and/or notarized, and it is a low-cost alternative to a last will. It's tough enough to deal with a loved one's death and making arrangements is even tougher if you don't know what to do.
Death is a part of life but it is very stressful to deal with. Some people like to hide their grief and others are more open with it. Whether or not you want to deal with it openly is your choice. There is no rule for grieving. But you do need to grieve to heal. It's a very painful process but it needs to be done.
Many support groups online and in your own community help people that are in the grieving process. There are groups for the survivors of people that have committed suicide to loss of a parent, child, sibling or spouse. Sometimes it's easier to go through something and have others around you that can relate to what you are experiencing. This is especially helpful during the holiday season. If you don't feel comfortable being part of a group and would rather do it on your own, try writing a poem about the person or a letter to the person.
Basically, you are bringing out your feelings in written form. Maybe it's things that you weren't able to tell that person before they passed away or how you feel since they've been gone, writing it out is a very good outlet for your feelings. You will cry, there's no doubt about that, so just let yourself go. You will notice that it helps to let it out. When one of my cousins that I was close to passed away, I cried when I found out, but I guess that I was in shock. It wasn't until a few days later when I was trying to put together a CD for her funeral service that I suddenly realized why I was making the CD and it hit me hard all at once. So I sat in front of my PC, choosing songs and crying like I couldn't stop. I felt a lot better after I cried though. I was drained but the pain seemed less intense after letting it out.
Grieving is very important. Don't try to hold it in or cover it up. You lost someone in your life, essentially a part of your life, you are allowed to grieve. As I mentioned, that the pain never goes away, it only gets easier with time. I have learned that everyone feels pain in a different way and everyone grieves in a different way.
Here are a few tips on dealing with other people who are grieving. If you are trying to comfort someone, don't say that you know how they feel. Just offer your support instead because in reality you don't know exactly how they feel. Don't tell them that the person is in a better place because they want that person to be with them or else they wouldn't be so upset. Again, offer your support. They will know that you care about them enough to offer them something and they will be very thankful.
Sometimes it's the little things that you do for a grieving person that will mean the most. Dropping in for a cup of coffee and chit chat or offering to help with cleaning is a nice way to do something for a grieving person. A home-cooked meal is great too but if you don't have time or don't know how to cook, get a meal from somewhere. Just stopping in to say hi is quite welcome especially after family and friends are back to their own lives. These are just some things that you can do to help ease the pain for someone who has lost a loved one. I speak from experience not from earning a degree. This is something that you can't learn from a book or a class.
The bottom line in dealing with the stress from caring for a loved one or from the death of a loved one is to make sure that you take good care of yourself. Life won't be the same again, but we need to learn from our experiences, take our knowledge with us into whatever else we do in the future, and use our knowledge to help others that walk the path that we once walked. We may still need help from time to time but it doesn't mean that we are weak. We were strong enough to show that we needed help and we will be strong enough to go on.
