“Mum, where's my socks and have you seen where my other sneaker has gotten to?”
Don't you hear this everyday? Does it sound repetitive and annoying? Yes it is and there is more to come. Even although they may be a pain in the backside you still love them and try to do your best to please. You cook, clean and wash up after them, but do they appreciate it? They might not because this generation is more spoilt than us. You see we give them what we didn't have, so they take advantage and enough is never enough for them.
The more you give the more they want. The more you buy for them, the more they want bought for them and it just keeps going on and on. What we need to do is put our foot down and be very firm and say no and set limits to everything they ask for. It will make them realise that they then won't be able to get it that easy.
Persistence is a exercise that can curb these teens to a limit. You have to keep at it and re-enforce it. Bring it up like they do to you, but nicely and easily. An example may be like when they ask for something, you say, “may I remind you, that no is my answer.”
Then explain to them that what was initially talked about and that no other argument or situation can change it. Remember you have to be firm, not aggressive about it. They are still kids at heart and don't understand the way an adult would. When you were young don't you wish you knew then what you knew now? See there you go. So give them a chance but keep to your limits and set yourself a goal, not forgetting you have to keep up with the persistence. Monitor your persistence and see your improvements.
Your kids learnt from you, now you must still carry on until they reach the age that they can display an adult like presence. That maybe at the age of eighteen or even earlier, but you know that even at that age they still may not be fully matured. So it is good to see them at least being independant. Even although they still need reminding and you need to sit them down and talk to them like a friend not mother and boss them around, be nice, act cool.
Be at their level so you can communicate with them equally as they do to you. An example is to join them at soccer, be more "there" with them. Fit into their world and then they will accept that you are on the same level as them, they won't feel threatened in any way.
Listen to what they have to say and if they have problem, that you'll be there for them no matter what the situation.
Then when that is achieved slowly, nicely and be totally honest, tell them about your childhood and that you never had it as good as they did and that you want them to be the best and that you are already proud of them. Encouragement, love, support and honesty is what you need to assure your kids and to be able to connect with them totally.
You need to make them realise and when I mean make, I mean in a nice way so that they will allow you to enter their room and talk like a friend not mother them. They want to be treated like adults too, so we have to give that a go. They also want to know that they can be superior in some way or another. That's when you praise them and be proud of their achievements. We can't give them the world but at least we can let them be boss for just say one day and at home, let them feel what it's like to be in charge. Tell mum what to do and most importantly see how far they go. You'll then see if they know their limits or not and whether they are becoming an adult already.
Twelve-teen, thirteen? They are all something teen but let's all hope it's at least going to become 'Proud-Teen”.
