Most things in life just aren't easy. Being a single parent for instance, you play mom and dad, you really have no one to pass off the responsibility, to share in the frustrations that go along with this monumental, although rewarding, task so many face now a days. What's more you have to consider how the whole "arrangment" affects you precious babies. You are the sole proprietor in the most important people in your life's happiness, comfort, stability, and security.
Break ups of any kind are always rough, no matter the reason. In addition to this you also now become a whole where you once were a half of a bigger picture. You are inevitably placed with the role of both mother and father to your very confused and probably hurting children. It's tough, it's work, and most of the time thankless, and unrespected by people who are outside of that box of single parenthood. Not to mention it makes things like working, obtaining education, and getting to little league on time very difficult. You have no one to tell you, "I've got soccer practice today, hun you study that algebra." The single parent hears, "Mom, I need my other cleat, and I can't find my socks." It is the most profound and exhausting job in the world. You are suddenly faced with, get up, get to school, get to work, get to school, get dinner, get homework done, bath, bedtime jack and the beanstalk, and bed. Then, you might have enough energy for a shower yourself, work on that work you had to bring home a little, do homework yourself, and fall into bed. Guess what then it starts over again the next day.
I know that's it's rough on the parents, but (and personally i think we get a little to busy to notice right away sometimes) the enormous strain going back and forth creates for the children. They too are suddenly now going to mommy one week and daddy the next. From one home to two. From mommy and daddy hugging, laughing, and talking, to arguing, tired, and not even happy to see one another. Believe it or not they notice the difference it all creates in our personalities. My son for example is five years old and if he is talking about something that took place before the divorce, he usually starts with something like, "Mommy, do you remember a long time ago when you and my daddy were married..." Believe me I know this hurts. In the most civil and nicest (created) circumstances it is incredibly difficult for those babies. Then you have the ever-painful situation of the relationship we ended had gotten to the point that you can't stand to be in the room with your former "love". This, I believe, puts even more strain on the children. It's hard enough when you can deal with dropping off and picking up those miracles that you created, it's even worse when emotions are such that it's a relative "showdown" every week.
It is difficult, by any means. You become the sole caretaker. You become solely responsible for not only the basic needs of food, water, shelter, but taxi, drycleaner, cook, tutor, and so much more all by yourself. You determine if the day is going to be good, bad, or in between for them. I'm not even going to touch on dealing with teenagers on your own yet...
It's hard to be a single parent, and yet it's the most rewarding job in the world. You just know when that sleeping, beautiful, precious, creature smiles a drowsy smile and says, "love you mommy/daddy" it's all worth it, sometimes it just helps to hear and feel recognized for the efforts.
