Some people consider a person who does not enjoy making friends and hanging out with others to be flawed in some way. However, parents of shy children should realize that shy is not a disorder.
To Force or Not to Force Social Interaction
Many parents feel rather helpless when it comes to their shy child. They want their child to be happy, to make friends, and to get involved in activities. The parent may remember happy social occasions from his or her own youth.
However, forcing a shy child into social situations and many group activities may have the opposite effect. Instead of the child becoming happy and making friends, they may feel even more nervous and be subjected to ridicule or painful exclusion.
Ways to Gently Encourage a Shy Child
Instead of signing the child up for every activity you think they might like, try asking the child what he or she is interested in. Shy children may not have social issues; they might just be introverted. Introverted people often enjoy solitary activities such as artwork, reading, and crafts instead of sports, drama club, and activity clubs.
If your shy child expresses an interest in something, try to find a group that enjoys it too. Arts or craft classes, or reading groups at the library are good choices. A shy child will be encouraged to interact with others who he or she knows share an interest.
Still, in relatively comfortable situations, shy children may not interact without encouragement. Attend an art class with your child and engage the person next to you in conversation. When friendly contact is established, include your child in the conversation.
When Shy Could Be A Real Problem
Some children are shy due to low self-esteem issues. Others become shy because of failure to make sense of social situations. In both of these examples, shy could be a real problem. Encouragement and genuine praise can help to instill a higher sense of self worth in the shy child. Role-playing can help with knowing what to say in different social situations.
Raising a shy child may be difficult when most of the world encourages extreme amounts of social interaction. Parents must be careful, however, to work with the comfortable boundaries of what their child can handle. Shy is not a disorder, but just a different way to deal with the world.
