In an ideal situation a parent would be able to spend the
day with their one year old at play school so that by the
time s/he is three being in school is normal.
In an ideal situation, kindergartens would be no more than
twenty five children, one teacher, two aides, and so many
activities the child doesn't want to go home.
In an ideal situation, first to six grades would be no
more than four classes per grade, no more than thirty
children per class.
In an ideal situation, middle school would be a short
walk away and the classes small and taught by highly
qualified and motivated teachers.
In an ideal situation, high schools would be focused
on the subject the child is most apt for; hence science
schools, art schools, drama, English, languages, etc, and
each class would hold no more than twenty five children
with a senior and junior teacher, and again be only four
classes in a grade.
In this way, no one would get left behind, be bullied,
be ignored, feel isolated, because the ratio of teacher
to student would prevent evidence from being missed.
Of course, most of us don't come any where near ideal
situations. Many parents have to work and can't be
there to hold the baby's hand in play school.
Many schools are crowded and one does the best one can,
and hopes for the best.
Of course, as we have seen, the best is often far away.
All you can do is the best for your child.
This means that you have to know your child's teacher,
their classmates, and what is going on.
Joining the P.T.A. is only a first step. Becoming involved
in school activities is a second. What is most useful are
the "sneak attacks" one makes on the school periodically.
You need to see what is going on first hand. Need to see
if your child is scrunched in the back of the room, or in
the middle of a social encounter.
You need to see what is being taught and how. You need to
get a feel of what is happening.
By knowing the child's teachers, the principal, the office
staff, your child will get more attention than those where
no one knows who the parents are.
You will also know if you have to move your child to a
different school.
Sometimes, for no discernible reason, a child becomes the
class stooge. Everyone makes fun of the child. Children
are extreme conformists. They want the same book bag,
shoes, everything that other children have. They want
to blend in. If they think ridiculing another child
is "standard" they will do it.
If your child is part of this; whether the ridiculed or
the ridiculer, take action. Moving the ridiculed from
the school might be the wisest move. Even keeping him
or her home for a week might be your choice.
Don't worry about missing lessons. Torment is the only
lesson he or she is learning.
If your child ridicules others, take sharp action.
The parents of the school bully are more culpable than he is
because they have allowed it. Bullies usually come from the
worst homes, which is why they take out their frustrations at
school.
If your child doesn't want to go to school, pretends s/he is
sick, you know there is a problem. Correction might be no
more than another school.
Often, home schooling is a first choice. There are so many
sites, and so many parents who are doing this that it is
easy to join a network of them.
Don't believe if your child does not go to school he or
she will grow up to be a recluse. As long as you have
social outings the child will get all the socialisation
he or she needs.
Often a number of parents join together to home school.
Some will hire a tutor and with computers and Internet
connection, produce brilliant children.
School is a peculiar place. Outside of prison and the army
few venues are as regimented. Children might have problems
sitting still for a whole day. This doesn't mean they are
mentally damaged, this means they are children.
Many primary school teachers will have the children engage
in physical exercise at forty minute intervals. Between
nine and noon, for example, some teachers will have singing,
in class calisthenics, and games which require walking around
to break the tedium of sitting still.
Others will expect kids to sit as zombies for three hours.
Torture, isn't it?
Some schools introduce daily physical education classes
so that excess energy can be channeled into sports.
Of course, when your child is marked disruptive, it is up to
you to find out why.
Is your child bored? Is s/he intellectually advanced? Or
is s/he slow? Is s/he dyslexic or dysnumerate? These are
things you have to find out, because in crowded classrooms
only the average child does well.
Most children function well in school environments, those
that do not need to be given attention to learn why.
Don't leave it up to the school to look after your child,
that's your job.
Always make time to visit the school, to be involved in
school activities, so that you can make hard decisions
when they are needed, and not need to wait until something
happens.
