Did your wedding vows include the words, “or for worse”?
Were these words meaningful or just another phrase in an expensive ceremony? No one can see into the future, weighing the good days against the trying times. We hope our marriage will be for the better. But, how do you get beyond those crazy days of fussing, cussing, and doubt?
My wife and I just celebrated thirty-four years of marriage. We know people that have loved and lived together much longer in marriage. However, I think by know we have learned a few things we can share.
Burn Bridges
Burn every bridge to past romantic relationships so you're not tempted to walk back across those bridges during the days of “or for worse.” Marriage is a constant growing into oneness. It is a matter of joining hands and hearts and always looking forward. The push toward your future must always be greater than the pull of your past.
Kindle Kindness
Say or do something kind and loving for each other every single day. The feeling of love is renewed and restored every time you consciously act in loving ways toward your mate. Never wait too “feel” loving before you act. Following your feelings will lead too many ups and downs. Love is a conscious decision to seek our mates highest good. It's a daily choice.
When I choose to bring my wife a cup of coffee, while waking her with gentle words, I know that our morning will be for the better. Kindling kindness in your mate will put deposits in your “love bank” so you can handle a few “withdrawals” on your “or for worse” days!
Forgive & Forget
You can choose to forgive the failures and faults of your mate. Forgetting them may be possible in the first stage of Alzheimer's disease. Hopefully, you are still a few years away from that possibility.
However, choosing to forgive will cause the memory of your mate's bad action and your pain to constantly grow farther apart. It's well worth the choice. Relationships are no place for ledgers of wrong. It will produce a root of bitterness that will eventually choke all the joy out of your life.
Growing old together and staying in love is not for sissies! It takes courage and commitment. You will be a better person for truly trying!
