Before going into what it entails to raise a particular gender, let's first take a basic look at what can be involved in dealing with a teenager in general.
Between growth spurts, hormonal shifts, drastic changes in body shape and mental view, the pre-teen and teen years can be a plethora of disconcerting changes for both child and parent. Someone who was perhaps once upon a time a sweet personality, eager for their first day of school and other experiences, will often become an unpredictable, snarling beast.
Outbursts and other confrontations occur frequently and often seemingly for no reason. Surly moods may become a dominant theme and bedroom doors might be locked for hours or even days at a time as a once outgoing child turns inward or otherwise shuts down from the sheer stress of merely existing. Parents may feel that they are suddenly raising a vampire due to the amount of daylight hours that are now slept away and other patterns may change as well until family members no longer recognize each other.
These are all generalities and certainly are not the pattern for every teen, but they occur often enough to set a general tone which parents may attempt to prepare themselves for as their child heads towards this tumultuous stage. It is possible to witness certain moody or contrary tots blossom during this period and become incredibly even tempered, although this is rarer than the more common reverse situation. And, of course some personalities, whether they started as agreeable or contrary, may continue on as they always have.
Overall, though, this is a time of great changes for both sexes and for the parents and mentors attempting to guide them through this phase of their lives. There are a few specifics that tend to apply more to one gender than the other, however, so let's address those differences as they apply to the young woman in your life.
Raging hormones in the teenage female can often put a pregnant or menopausal woman to shame. Especially since this is usually the first time an individual is experiencing these drastic shifts in their basic biochemistry and subsequent mindset. Try to imagine what can be a bewildering time for a more knowledgeable woman and then pour that into someone with no previous experience and often little or no information in regard to what is happening to them.
Even if armed with all the latest facts, as her heart, head and hormones collide, common sense can be seriously outweighed by the chaos of so many conflicting signals. An ordinarily calm girl may become a roller coaster of tears and rages as her body adjusts to these strong currents of change to her physiology.
Young women are also developing their verbal networking skills to new heights, usually in the form of gossip and innuendo. Reputations and social connections within their peer group can become so important to their mental and emotional well-being that the merest hint of a splotch on their social record may drive a girl to hysterics. Becoming "in" may become important enough to the point of excluding other activities or relationships that may have previously been a priority, including any closeness they may have had with their parents.
Cliques form based upon an unwritten yet instinctively understood hierarchy within the school peerage. Verbal bullying is often rampant and those at the receiving end may not wish to speak about their humiliations with their parents, sulking instead for days and weeks on end in their rooms with doors tightly shut.
As her guide and mentor, smile and nod, do your best to not take any verbal attacks personally and then do what you can to be there for her. Try not to say the actual words "I understand" because she will not believe you. Every teen believes that they are the only one to ever feel the way they do, because this is the first time they have personally experienced it.
Instead, use stories of your own past to help illustrate why and how you can commiserate with them. Bonding over shared experiences, perhaps mixed with a few mutual tears, often works wonders to calm an upset teen(This technique can work with some males as well as females). Broken hearts, like any other misery, usually welcome company.
Raising teenage girls can get quite expensive. Appearances, which might have had importance before, take on new and often excessive priority now. Pink or black may become the only color to be worn and they will refuse to wear any other items from their once extensive wardrobe. Clothing, shoes and accessories along with make-up, perfume and other toiletries suddenly have to be just a particular brand or only from a certain store.
Even tomboy types who might not have cared about their appearance before may decide that now they need to purchase only a certain pair of jeans to wear every day without fail or perhaps buy cargo pants with just the correct number of chains and zippers to give them the "right" look for their social niche, especially if they are the trend-setter for their group. Loners often insist on a particular look as well and just like their more social peers may refuse to wear anything else from their closets.
She is going to need to develop her own style both in apparel and personal mentality, no matter her social status. She is navigating a social morass that is as much a part of her inner struggle as with any exterior pressures. In trying to fit in or to buck trends, the female teen is trying to figure out who she is and how she works. And she is doing so at a time when physical as well as mental and emotional conditions are in hormonal as well as social flux. Every care must be given to offer guidance whenever she'll accept it but be prepared to have your offerings of wisdom rejected frequently, often in the name of "old-fashioned".
While more common in boys, girls may also experience increased appetite. An already healthy need for nourishment may not only double but seemingly quadruple or worse in order to keep up with all the rapid changes occurring. Some young females often become overly concerned with their weight during this period, sometimes leading to serious conditions like anorexia or bulimia to counter a perceived ballooning of their bodies.
Some change in eating and other habits is to be expected during this chaotic time, but severe behaviors, especially if they last for extended periods, may indicate serious conditions and should be checked by the family physician.
This is all generalization and individuals will vary widely, of course. The main thing to remember is that your child is evolving into what will hopefully become a reasoning adult who will be able to function in today's confusing world. Most teens, girls and boys, are going to need emotional space one minute and some equivalent to a big bear hug the next and knowing when they need each is guesswork on everyone's part, including theirs.
