I was on vacation with my family and saw two children whose behavior was atrocious (that is putting it mildly). Why are parents afraid to take be parents today? I know, I have already addressed this, but it still shocks me to see how children deal with their parents. One child, about eight years old, yelled at his mother for not coming to see what he was trying to get her to buy for him. She had a mini shouting match with him and then he told her to “..be quiet and come here and look at what I am showing you!”. My seven year-old and I just looked at each other in disbelief. The mother did nothing to discipline him or even give him any consequences for his actions. I know people who call their parents B**** and M**F** to their face with a casualness bred from familiarity.
I believe that the key to raising a teen who explores the world responsibly and learns how to make good decisions is teaching them that there are good choices and bad choices. Show them what the good choices are. Show them, if you can, the consequences of bad choices. Allow them to make a bad choice once in a while and deal with the consequences so that they understand that for every action there is a reaction. We take my daughter hiking, biking, swimming, and to places where she can look at art, see different styles of music and more. The idea is that if she knows all the positive alternatives of fun that are out thee (at a young age), she is less likely to chase down things that will not be good for her.
I don't have any illusions about the rebellious teen years, but she is already learning that you can say what is on your mind, as long as you learn how to say it respectfully and present yourself with dignity. Raising a teen starts before they are teenagers. All the successful teens that I know have had wonderful early exposure to many things, a healthy relationship (and definitely respectful) with their parents and a chance to make decisions from the time they were very young. Kids respond to high expectations by rising to meet them. They have an intrinsic desire to be better than your expectations (so do adults).
Let them explore the world. Just be a guide to them so that they don't do anything irreversible.
