If you don't have children, but you think you might some day, put these fundamental principles into action immediately. It's never too early to start your children down the right path, and the best thing you can do for them is to discipline yourself before they arrive. If you already have children, don't be alarmed, it's never to late to make appropriate changes in your family, but the longer you wait the harder it will be. Change is difficult for everyone, but with consistency, organization, participation, and structure you'll have your family in line before you know it.
Organization
Lets begin by focusing on organization. There are three groups of people in this world when it comes to organization, the first group consists of the people whose homes bare a striking resemblance to military compounds, and the second group consists of the people who found their missing car keys that they lost last year when they were looking for the dog leash after Fido came home from the vet. Fortunately, most of us fall somewhere in the middle, in group number three. But how does where we fall on the organizational scale affect our kids? The effects are innumerable. When we are disorganized our children often suffer from anxiety, which can lead to behavior problems especially in young children. In older children and adolescents parental disorganization can lead to poor academic success, truancy, and depression.
Structure
That's where structure comes in. No matter what they say, children need, and desire, structure. It makes them feel secure and it lets them know that they are loved. Too often parents believe they are doing their children a favor by giving in, or being permissive, but they are actually doing them a disservice. Children cannot grow into responsible adults on their own. They need to learn to respect boundaries, and their instruction needs to begin at home as early as possible. While children are still in diapers they can begin to learn about structure through scheduled nap times, bed times, and meal times. And they can learn to respect boundaries by watching parent's role model appropriate behaviors.
Participation
Many times I have seen parents tell their toddlers, from across the room, not to throw the baby bottle at their little sister, to pick up their toys, or, and this is my favorite, come here before I spank you. Children learn best when they are shown, not told, what to do, and this is where participation comes into play. Instead of telling your toddler, or your teenager, to pick up their toys or clean their room, show them exactly what you want and enlist their help in the process. This not only gives you an opportunity to teach your child and strengthen your relationship, but it also helps your child understand exactly what you want and will cause the child much less anxiety in the long run. Participation is important to everyone, young or old, because it lets us know that someone cares enough to spend that precious commodity; time.
Conclusion
Now, there is one thing that must be added because without it nothing that we've talked about will work, and that is consistency. These techniques will work, but only if you are consistent in your application. You cannot “try” organization one day and participation the next and expect them to work. You have to do your best to be organized every day, especially when it comes to your kids. You have to participate with your kids on a daily basis as often as possible, and you have to structure your life, and the lives of your children in a way that works for all concerned, and if that means giving up something so that you can put your kids first, that is exactly what you need to do. Remember, the goal is to raise responsible, happy, self-sufficient adults, and that cannot happen without you.
