Do you dread dropping off your child at preschool because you know that no matter how many minutes earlier you try to be there, you will be late because your child does not want you to leave? Or, do you dread picking up your child at night because at the end of a long day of work the last thing you want to do is “fight” with your child because they do not want to leave?
Dropping off in the Morning:
The answer is simple, give them a hug and kiss and just leave. I know it is easier said than done. Especially when your child has tears flowing down their cute little face. If you want to see those tears disappear quicker so you don't have to suffer that feeling of guilt, then it's going to take a bit of effort on your part.
Always try to talk to your child on the way to preschool and let them know they will only be there until you are finished work for the day and that they will be picked up to go home and you can have so much fun then.
Your child may still give you a hard time but they will have that reassurance in the back of their mind.
If you are still having trouble, do not hesitate to ask a teacher for help. After all it is their job to make things as easy as possible for parents and children. Be aware though that when the teacher does step in your child may be kicking and screaming but believe it or not, that's your queue to go.
If you pull the child back in your arms, they may settle down but now you will have to do it all over again and it only gets worse. No matter how many times you try to re-console your child, it will be the same outcome as the first time.
If you do the drop off and just leave, your child will understand that that's the way it has to be and before you know it; your child will be walking through the door on their own.
Times may vary. I have seen some children come around in as little as 1 week to as long as 3 ½ weeks. The main thing is that you stick to it. The moment you let them stop you from leaving and you go back to them, you have to start all over from square one.
Picking up at the End of the Night:
Now you must know that I am going to say to do the exact same thing as the picking up, just opposite. You know what, that's exactly it.
When you go to pick up your child and they say no I don't want to go and you know you have to go that very minute because of appointments or other things, you are going to have to go over to your child and hold them by the hand and lead them out.
They may cry and fuss and act angry, and, they will get over it. We can't feel bad about our children crying. Nobody wants to make a child cry, especially when it's our own. You have a choice to make though, keep my child from crying and do everything by their schedule, OR, have to see some tears here and there and make life easier on myself.
As with above, sticking with the pick up routine will eventually become simple and stress free. When your child sees you come through the door they will know that that's the time to leave. Once you break that, you're back to square one.
On occasion your child may want to show a piece of artwork they are working on or a building they just built with blocks. By all means go and look at it and praise them for their great work, but, keep it brief and then leave.
You will feel so stress free and like you have made such a great accomplishment when you can pick up and drop off your child with ease.
Just for an added note here, DO NOT WORRY if other parents are observing your child's negative behaviors at first. After all, those parents may have had to go through the same ordeals as you and they may even help you out. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, your child is going to preschool to learn and that is actually part of learning and developing life skills.
It may seem minor to us, but for a child, those little “life lessons” help them grow as a child and come to understand transitions and schedules.
I hope you will put these tips to practice and enjoy brighter mornings and evenings ahead.
