You've been successful at getting your child to go potty on the toilet (most of the time), it may have taken some time, but you're there now. However, there's another challenge that your child has yet to conquer: “The big number two!”.
Many parents have a hard time understanding why and how their child can do just fine with urinating, but such a hard time with bowel movements making it to the toilet. As a preschool teacher, this is an issue I've seen time and time again. It is puzzling until you take a closer look. Let me let you in on some reasons for the challenge and some secrets and strategies toward the “number two” success.
Routine
First let me mention that the key to many successes in your young child's life is ROUTINE! I'm sure it is something that you've heard or read before, but let me stress its importance. Children thrive on routine! It lets them know what is coming next, which helps tremendously with avoiding many tantrums and power struggles. If you have your child enrolled in a childcare center or preschool, they most likely operate their days on a routine schedule. The children eat, play outside, and take naps, etcetera in a certain order each day. This leaves little question to what comes next, they pick up on the routine and expect it.
So why is this beneficial to your child's potty-training progress? If your child's day is operated on a routine schedule, it will make it much easier for you or your child's care provider to observe the regularity of his bowels. If you can learn the timing of which his accidents usually occur, you can help him out by catching it before it happens.
Fear
Here's another clue that may be hindering your child's toilet success: fear. Believe it or not, some children are afraid of pooping in the toilet. Some are afraid that it will physically hurt and some have a hard time letting go of something that is their own. If this is the case with your child, be sure to listen to his feelings. You may need to sit in the bathroom with him for a few times to ease his fear. After he is done, say things like “Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Good job!”
Boredom
Lets face it; the bathroom can be a boring place! In many cases, the child just get bored sitting there waiting for their bowel movement. Just for a moment, put yourself in your child's shoes; there's no toys and nothing “cool” to look at in there! I'm not suggesting that you must decorate your bathroom in Thomas the Train posters for your child to look at; you can if you want to, of course.
Yes, a poster might help, but here's a problem that I've seen arise from a bathroom poster: the child wants to stand up and look at the poster and point to it. And since we'd rather him not poop while standing up, a poster might not be a good choice if your child is one who might do that. Instead, here are some other options. Get a “poop toy”. That sounds weird, I know, but just try it. Buy a small toy he can hold in his hand while pooping. Cars or trucks work great because he will most likely drive the car up and down his leg for entertainment.
But here's the key, this toy can only be used when he is trying to go poop. Another option is a children's book that he can read while sitting on the pot. Both of these options can entertain your child long enough for “number two” to make its grand entrance.
Laziness
“What if my child just doesn't care?” That is probably the most difficult of them all, especially when you've tried the three strategies above. But not to worry, I've got suggestions for this one too! I do not suggest that you punish your child for any issues around potty training. Your child still needs your loving support no matter the reason for his accidents.
In this situation, I suggest natural consequences. Let your child figure out how inconvenient the messy pants are to him. He won't begin to see this if Mommy cleans up his mess every time. When he makes the mess in his pants, he needs to leave his beloved toys behind as he cleans himself up. He will still need your help, but don't do it all for him. Have him wipe his bottom with wipes. He will most likely be squeamish at the experience of having to clean his own bowel movements. After his bottom is all cleaned up, have him dress himself.
What he will learn from this is that his poop is his responsibility and it will take him much longer to get cleaned up and redressed by himself than it would if mommy or daddy does it for him. That is why it is important to let him do it himself and explain to him that if he poops in the toilet he doesn't have to clean up a big mess and change his clothes.
So there you have it. Those are some keys to potty training success that I have found to work wonders on many children. Remember, your child needs routine, encouragement, responsibility and even a little creativity from mom and dad to conquer the big poop challenge!
