I can quite safely say that mealtime for myself has remained unchanged for the past 40 years, only the family members whom I share the meal with has changed. Until I was married, mealtime was with my parents and grandparents at dinner time at the dining table every week night.
It was a time when both my parents came back from work and I from school. We would all congregate at the dinning table as the wonderful aroma waived up from the dishes that my late grandmother prepared.
We would talk about our day's challenges and at the end of the meal, we would clear up the table. Grandma would not be allowed to help as she did the cooking. This would go like clockwork until the day she passed away.
Then my mother took over looking after grandpa and the cooking. We always appreciated her cooking - even when she first attempted to cook and it didn't turn out quite right. We knew that she tried her best, but she was not used to it. Now my dear mother gets the same response, as my late grandma did, from her grandchildren when they sit at her table to wait for her delicious meal, "Quick Grandma, I can"t wait anymore! Can we eat NOW?'
Ever since I got married, I have brought this "tradition" of having dinner together at the table (without the television on!). My husband did not come from this practice, he came from a family that did not eat together. Whoever was at the table or came home first, ate first then left the table and went on to do their own thing. Until today, my husband's other siblings (they have all married and have their own families) do not share a mealtime with their individual family. They still eat at different times all the days. When my husband married me, we ate our meals together (after all, there was just the two of us) and caught up with each other as we exchanged news of what happened in our day at the office.
When the children came along, it became more difficult to have our meals together especially when the children were younger and had a different diet from ours. Now that the children are older they all have a hand in setting the table. Even my youngest child plays a role in the food preparation (she peels garlic for me!). When the older children are back from school earlier than normal, they would wander into the kitchen and offer to help cook. They are especially pleased when the food they have cooked is praised at mealtime.
Mealtime for a family is important as it opens the channel of communication among family members. It allows family members to exchange ideas and worries. There is one rule at the table: no harsh words to be used at the table as we respect the cook who slaved over the hot stove to put the food on the table. We do not want anybody to be too upset to eat the food. This is a practice that I still insist we follow at my table.
Studies have shown that children who do not share a meal together with their parents will always feel not part of a family.
The food on the table does not have to be a gourmet selection, just the simple act of sitting together and listening to each other builds the family bond. Even an ice-cream sundae on every Sunday afternoon can build family bond, your child will bring that tradition to his family in the future as he fondly recalls how it was done when he was a child.
It is not easy to have a daily family mealtime together, but with perseverance and everyone helping out it can become a reality. Even with both parents working, it still can be done. Order take outs and sit as a family, use disposable cutleries and plates (ok, so we are not going green), eat sandwiches, order pizza - there are many ways to skin the cat (sorry, no offend to animal lovers). How is the next generation going to build bonds with their family if they have never experienced it before? Stop giving excuses and just do it (Nike advertisement).
