No cut will be as deep. The moment will arrives when your parenting reaches a supersonic level and the hearing of your child grows faint. They hear only the high pitch shrill of your guidance. The road they chose to take has signs of error, danger and failure. You as the parent have the ability to see through the fog and you see it clearly the mess just ahead. Offering gentle advice, is met with the famous, “Oh please.” You repeatedly, cringe because you cannot stand to see the pain the trouble path will bring. Here in stage four you must realize the ties that bind must be cut. Cut, yes cut, it is the only way for true growth to begin. It is a double edge sword, it cuts both ways. You will be cut and your child will be cut. The cut will allow the infection drain. Infectious discarded advice, angry words and closed minds has to be cleansed for your relationship to be strengthened at this stage. The drainage will produce a foul stench and it will ooze of mess you will not like. The antibiotic is harsh; it requires you to keep from judging, offering advice and saying I told so. Your child's development here is essential to you cutting the ties that bind.
Growing an adult child is more complicated than insuring their development in childhood. Life has many of the same hard lessons in-store for your child as it had for you. Life will bring decisions to make that will not be plain to them, but you have the answers only you cannot provide them. The proof for this walk of life is that your child needs walk it alone. The proving point for them comes through suffering and struggle. It is their solo flight. Support them with belief that shows you know they will make it through the journey just fine.
Stage 5: Befriending
Cookouts and cook-ins pull out the old family photo DVDs and pictures and smile at the memories made, the ones being made now and those in the making. Through the good, bad and indifferent as a parent you made it. Not every day is just what you expected, you could never prepare for every unexpected circumstance. In stage five, befriending is being okay with it all. Do not hold life close to the vest; let some of life go by smiling despite the near misses and messes. You parent forever and a day and I will have to write a few more parts to this article. (Laughing out loud)
