Why is it that young achievers that I've known never made it big after graduating from college? Hold your horses. It may not be necessarily true that all achievers are never successful. In fact, many former academic achievers have done very well as company executives and top public servants. Sadly, though, there are a number who just fail miserably in life. Do you think your child could be one of them?
The Situation
I have been involved in the field of education for most of my life. I have met, handled and taught some of the best (and some of the worst) young minds I have ever encountered. Through the years, I noticed an alarming trend among some of my students. It seemed that many who had graduated at the top of their classes were failures either in their careers or in their personal lives. Surprisingly, those who were academically challenged did better. Although there were also former honor students who still did well after college, it made me feel terrible to know that the top class aces just weren't shining anymore.
The worst case was that of Ana. She was class valedictorian and all the teachers thought that she would rise up to the highest ranks of society. After two years of college though, she had sunk to her lowest. She became addicted to both alcohol and drugs and had attempted suicide thrice. We tried to find out what happened. We learned that Ana's deviant behavior began when her long time boyfriend broke up with her. Ana must be in her late twenties now, but I was told that she still hasn't recovered.
I know, it sounds all so improbable but the story is true. What has this to do with being a young achiever?
The Deeper Situation
Some of you may not take me seriously because I do not cite any reliable studies and have not conducted studies of my own. I can only speak from experience and this is what I know.
Many times as parents we are so overjoyed to have a young achiever that we sometimes miss some other aspects of child raising. For Ana, most of her young life consisted of going to school, going home and back again the next day. On weekends she stayed at home and devoured the family library. For sure, Ana was better than everyone else in every single school subject. But that was all there was to her life. What could have been missing?
Social Orientation
It would do us well not to forget that life is not just about academics but reality as well. No, I do not agree that teens should be allowed to party all night and have a little taste of drugs and alcohol for experience's sake. What I mean is that our kids should have a taste of what is going on outside their limited circles.
I do not suggest that we should shove newspapers and news shows under our kids' noses. It is perhaps enough to discuss certain realities during family meal or recreation time. What does it mean for the global economy to have a new French President? What is poverty like in third world countries? Why is same sex marriage not yet legal in most countries? Why are we destroying the only planet in the solar system that can sustain life?
Whatever parents' political, cultural or social leanings are, family discussions are a great way to broaden children's horizons.
Lessons in Reality
Other than healthy doses of social orientation, parents should also share what life is really like. Your young achiever may not know that perfect points don't make a person or that being in the honor roll doesn't guarantee that one will never ever fail in life. Prep your children ahead of time that life is truly full of both joys and tremendous disappointments and that regardless of the outcome, life will not stop for anyone. Life further more, is nothing like fairy tales and romantic movies.
At this point some of you might want to ask me what gives me the right to say such things. It's true, I don't have a PhD and I am not a researcher or doctor. But like Ana, I had been a young achiever. Like Ana I had been shocked by my first experience of personal failure outside the academic arena. Like Ana I almost killed myself. But although I am not rich or popular as everyone thought I would be, I am still alive. I learned my lessons well before it was too late. Now, I have a daughter of my own. If she becomes a young achiever, I truly hope I can teach her well.
