A healthy self-image for teenage girls begins with mom. Little girls often seem to live in direct opposition to their mothers. Many mothers would admit that their precious little girls became independent, jealous, and competitive in relationship to them, by the age of five. But, in essence, little girls store away in their "memory of image," the mother they seemed to appose.
A short film clip commentated by Judy Fortin, with Health News, on CNN.com, presented several moms and their preteen daughters as they interacted in a cooking class, in which moms and daughters focused their attention on Healthy Food for a Healthy Body.
Comments often made by mothers, within ear-range of their daughters, about their own self-image, is absorbed by their unassuming little girls, like a sponge. Years later, comments heard by mom, become reflected opinions of themselves when they become young women.
While listening to the film clip of Judy Fortin on this Mother's Day, I found myself reflecting on a personal experience with my own daughter, I would like to share with you.
- I grew up in a mixed heritage home. Part Arabic and part Scandinavian.
- I always felt strange about the way I looked. Not pink skinned, though blonde hair. Not blue eyes or brown, but green. Not straight hair, but rather extremely curly. My body was never "boyish looking" when I was eleven years old, but already had become voluptuous.
- At the age of sixteen, I felt the importance of my self-image. I was different, and I had a choice as to how I was going to live with my difference.
Years later, my daughter clearly had many of my physical characteristics. She watched me like a hawk when she was little. Obviously to me, to see how I felt about myself as a woman.
I had learned over the years how to handle my curly hair and accept the fact that it would never look like "Cher". I had also come to love the color of my skin and eyes. And so, one day while my eleven year old daughter was fussing with her curly hair, and looking at her backside, voluptuously stuffed in her jeans, I walked into her room and sat down and explained to her why I loved the way I looked.
As I talked about each feature of my body, from my hair to my round rump, and how much I loved looking different and not like everyone else, I watched her eyes grow wide in amazement at my appreciation rather than complaints about my looks. Though she was only eleven at the time, the expression on her face clearly indicated that something registered deep in her heart.
Today, my beautiful little girl is nearly nineteen years old, and admired by all of her friends. She has magnificent, long, curly hair that is neither blonde nor brown, but beautiful. Her green eyes and golden complexion set her apart from all of her friends, which are quite a mix from African American beauties to Blonde Haired-Blue Eyed cuties. But what makes my daughter different is that she loves the way she looks and can't understand why her friends "nit-pick" over every detail of their appearance, and deeply grieve what they view in the mirror.
Moms have a profound affect on the little girls they raise. If we could give them but one gift, let it be the gift of self-acceptance and an appreciation for their individual beauty.
