Yesterday and Today
There use to be a time where the majority of mothers were "Stay at home" moms. Several years ago mothers did not even have the option of leaving the home to find work, most families only had one vehicle and were okay with that. Then the tide shifted and more were working out of the home. The children were left with strangers in a day care, or another family member would watch them.Now the drive to be more competitive has heightened the feelings many parents have that they must have a larger income and own more things.
In reality many people "FEEL" they need to have both parents working, but they could really afford to have only one work IF they were willing to make some sacrifices and cut down on expenses, and put their kids ahead of selfish desires for status symbols. A lot of parents are recognizing the need to BE a parent. In some cases it is even the father who is the "stay at home mom".
Can It Be Done?
YES!!! It is possible to have kids and be a stay at home mother. I myself did it for the first five years of my child's life, while living below the poverty line, but not collecting welfare or additional support. I really cannot say I was bad off, I am sure most people had no idea are income was as low as it was. Other than the mortgage (which was low) we owed nothing in bills or debt.
I knew that the first six years of a child's life are their most formative, the ones where a parents influence is most important. I also knew that when kids are older it is very important that the come home to a place where they are not alone. I knew that teenagers who come home to empty houses are more often the ones who get into trouble.
A twist of fate saw my first husband die when my daughter was five years old, and I went to work outside the home when she was in school. I have since remarried and my husband and I have schedules that allow one of us to be home when she is home.
You have to be able to decide what you can do without. For me it was cell phones and cable TV. Home cooked meals are cheaper than fast food, and growing some of your own food can save hundreds of dollars a year. When you are a stay at home mom, you save money because you do not have the day care expense. A lot of people think when they work they are making so much more money, but forget that often times half of that is going to child care.
Plan ahead - Before you even have a child start saving your money. Start making smart choices for the future, like buying a home instead of renting, having a cheap car with no payments rather than an expensive show piece.
Married Moms
Obviously it is going to be easier to be a stay at home mother if you have a supportive partner. Married moms do have one other big advantage, they have somebody to give them a break. The unfortunate thing is that your partner may think all you do is sit at home watching TV, not really "doing" anything. They may feel that they are more important as they are the breadwinners.
So, make sure you DO NOT sit at home all day doing nothing but watching TV. You can use your time effectively, work in the garden, do some baking, and so on. Keep up with the household chores, and of course look after the child. As kids get older they can help you as well. Make sure you and your husband have an understanding that your "job" is the children and home, in effect your job is "security". Many security jobs involve some cleaning and maintenance but allow SOME TV watching too, as long as it doesn't prevent them from doing the main job.
Single Moms
It is much harder to be a stay at home mom if you are single. Single moms really need to try to find a way to make an income so they can stay home. If the children are school aged it is possible for a single parent to work outside of the home when the child is in school. The toughest thing about being a single parent is that you may not get a break. Obviously if you have an "ex" who can take the kids some of the time that will give you more freedom. But if you are truly a "single" parent, as I was after my husband died, then it is a lot tougher. Most governments do not recognize the fact that children benefit by having a parent raise them, they simply would prefer not to pay you anything, and have you at work so you are paying taxes. Of course this is understandable. I worked part time for minimum wage. I did not collect welfare, and my husband did not leave me with any insurance or such. The only reason I was able to get by was because we had purchased a home earlier and had an extremely low mortgage payment.
I was willing to make sacrifices, you need to consider the same. Eating soup for many meals, no cable, no Internet, I had a car that I did not need to make payments on (it was nothing to look at but got me around). We had a garden so saved a lot on food costs.
It may just be a case that you have to work, but if so, consider only part time work.
Money Making Opportunities
The most available money making opportunity for a stay at home mother, is to provide child care for other children. You need to look into the laws and requirements in your area. Consider realistically how many kids you can look after, and of what ages. Do not take in so many children that your own child is neglected. Set your hours, and stick to them. Holidays, such as over night at New Years, do provide you with other options.
Some newspapers offer work from home opportunities as columnists or even delivery people, which you can do with your child.
Do you have a marketable hobby or skill? Can you bake and sell at a farmers market?
The other consideration is that you and your partner work out a schedule so one of you can be home while the other is at work.
Some factories will pay you to do "piece work" at home, just make sure the pieces are kept away from your kids.
Seamstress... if you have sewing skills sometimes people will pay you to do dress alterations and such.
Good Luck - remember you are doing this for the benefit of your children.
