I am a single mother. What exactly does this mean? Let me see if I can make this clear. I am the one who rocked my child to sleep when he was a baby, no matter how tired I was or what I had to do the next day. I am the one who changed my diapers, with the rare exception of when my mother was around - because for some strange reason she didn't mind doing a little dirty work. I am the one who catches all of his colds and stomach viruses because it is my bed he comes to when he needs to be held. I am the one who was peed on, pooped on, spit up on, thrown up on, bled on, cried on, and on whom had various liquids and solids were spilled. I am the one who spanks or places my son in time out. I am the one who tells him no, even though sometimes I would much rather just give him what he wants. I am the one who assures him that the Boogey Man is not going to get him when he falls asleep.
I am also the one who gets muddy hugs and gooey kisses. I am the one who got to see him laugh for the first time, take his first steps, learn to ride a tricycle, learn to ride a bike, learn how to read, and learn the meaning of friendship for the first time. I am the one who reads to him at night. I am the one who helps him find his stuffed Spider Man so he can fall asleep feeling protected. I am the one who pours his milk, and watches him grow strong because of it. I am the one who he confides in. I am his nurse, his teacher, his driver, his chef, his psychologist, and his trusted advisor.
I am all of these things and more, thanks to a man who chose to follow the path of so many other dead beat dads in this great United States of America. However, unlike other single mothers, I do not hold against him all of this time I have been raising our child alone. No. I am grateful for the chance to do this myself. My child is the first good thing I have ever done in my life. More than anything, I feel sorry for my ex. He has missed so many great moments that he can never reclaim, no matter how hard he tries if and when he decides to be a part of our son's life. I will never regret a single moment I did not get to go out and party because I didn't have a babysitter. I will never wish the time I spend with my son had been spent with someone else. There is no one else that will ever teach me as much as being a mother to such an amazing little person has taught me. If I could tell my ex one thing, it would be thank you. Thank you for giving me such an irreplaceable gift from God.
