Motherhood has given me so many wonderful gifts. Ask any mother her proudest moment(s) and almost always will they involve her children. So many women just love to ramble on about the joys of parenting, but I'm here to tell ya' there is just as much taking from motherhood as there is giving. For instance, I used to have countless hours of free time everyday. Where did it all go? Motherhood, that's where. Motherhood is a time robbing bandit. I knew once I discovered i was pregnant, I would have less time for myself, but I didn't quite grasp the idea that my first beautiful, precious, delicate little angel would just suck every minute available out of me. I think children gave the cell phone companies the ideas for their contracts. If you tell someone that talking to them will put you over your monthly alloted minutes, they don't care. They won't offer to pay you for your time either. They'll just keep on gabbing away as if your precious time was free and worthless.
Just like children will! Now, everyday I notice something new that motherhood has stolen from me. Could be my car keys, my sanity, my patience, or hell, even my lunch!( the second kid is quite the eater!!). Lately though, as the seasons begin to change into those of swimsuit weather I realize by far, the most important thing that the little thieving minx of motherhood has stolen from me. Don't get me wrong, I am sure that a lot of Moms out there are not nearly as vain as I am. They are just too busy with their 3+ children to even notice anything is missing. Not me! Oh no buddy. You can believe this year when I tried on the swimsuit I had worn the summer before my first pregnancy I noticed it straight away. Someone has stolen my boobs. Maybe sucked the life out of them would be a more appropriate term. No matter how I phrase the blame, it all falls on one culprit. That sweet siren herself. Motherhood. And by the way Motherhood, if you're reading this, don't think I haven't noticed MY ASS has also gone the way of my hooters!! Non existant!!!
Someday, when my girls have grown, and like the tooth fairy, you creep into my room late at night, leaving small gifts of time and patience under my pillow to reward me in a job well done, I'll be waiting!! When I finally catch up to you the first thing I'm going to do is, well, let's be honest, the first thing I'll do is take a nap.... but as soon as I'm rested, you and I are hitting the gym!! I am reclaiming the glory that was once my ass and hooters!! Oh I can picture it!! Motherhood, lying defeated in the ring as I dance around her!! If you look closely at the image you'll notice that neither my ass or boobs are jiggling because they are back to their pre-baby tightness!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! In all seriousness folks, I love my children more than life and would gladly sacrifice my physique if need be, i just wished someone would have let me know before hand that try as i might, my body would NEVER be the same!!!
I have a two year old and an eleven month old. I used to have the body of an 18-year-old cheerleader. Now, not so much!!
