Do children come with how to handbooks?
Ok, all those parents that received a “How To Raise This Child Handbook “ when their child was born please raise your right hand. Well, for those of us who didn’t receive our handbook or maybe you have lost it in the process of raising your child join the club called parenthood. It has a lifelong membership with very high priced dues.
Becoming a member of the club…
I had no preparation when I joined the club. My husband had three children when we got married from his first wife who had passed away with colon cancer. The two older ones who were twins were seventeen and on their way to college. They could have been resentful, but weren’t. Thank the Lord. They were very helpful, though they were very shy and it took them sometime to warm up to me. But, the littlest one, the three year old was total opposite. He had been through so much with his mom being sick and having to stay with different family members and my husband had to travel because of his job to keep money coming in for the family.
My youngest was scared, angry, and confused. He didn’t want me at all in his life. I was a stranger and having to suddenly have this new person who was telling him what to do and to care for him was to much for him. But, at the same time he wanted a mom like the other kids in preschool. His teacher told me that when they were making a list of what they wanted for Christmas he had put a mom at the top of his list because his dad and I were getting married right after Christmas. So, he said I was his present.
As time went by we wrestled with his desire to be loved and his fear of the whole new situation. He threw fits daily and said things that ripped out my heart, but with time, lots of love, and prayer we overcame. All the training I had as a social worker, with no children giving advice to people with troubled kids went out the window and I thought to myself, “ why did these poor parents even listen to one word I said? “
Sharing Advice and Stories
It was during this time that I found that the advice of family and friends, not to mention all the books I read got me through in a world where sometimes I felt I truly was a lone ranger. So, looking back and moving forward all at the same time I decided to begin this ongoing article where as parents we can share advice and stories. I hope it will be beneficial to all who read it.
Let me close by saying I am not an expert in raising children. I am simply a mom looking to help others and to receive help in uncertain areas I have myself. Honestly, I don’t think there can be an expert. Raising kids is a job of trial and error. It is a time of learning and teaching both for the child and yourself. So, join with me as I explore the parenthood club.
