I was married for 13 years to a man who, in the eyes of his mother, could do no wrong. She was overbearing in a way that annoyed me more than fingernails on a chalkboard. In her eyes there was no other male on earth who could compare to the perfect specimen of masculinity that she produced.
We married at a young age, and shortly after moved away from home, as he had just joined the military. Even being far away from the nest could not deter the frequent calls, letters, cards, and any other form of communication imaginable. She and my father-in-law would visit frequently (no matter how far they had to travel, they even visited us 5 times when we lived in Germany), and on every occasion she would manage to throw out some kind of comment as to how lucky I was to have such a good man.
She once brought up the subject of life insurance to my husband and suggested that in the event that his life was taken while on duty, he should make sure it was made clear in his will that if I were to remarry, I should have to relinquish any funds left to me. She was absolutely insane! After 11 years of being independent of our immediate families, we decided to move back home. This would be the beginning of the end of our life together. Not only did we move back into the same county, but we ended up building a house directly next to my mother-in-law, who, by that time, was a widow. The only man in her life was my husband, and she did not hesitate to make it well known.
Eventually we did divorce, and I, wanting it to end quickly, signed over every bit of the 13 years I had put into that marriage, the house, his retirement, furniture. This still was not enough to satisfy that woman. She spends her life making sure she points out all of my faults to my children. Even though he has since remarried (this is her third marriage), she cannot give up on trying to make me a villain in my children's eyes. It doesn't seem to matter that the new wife had a ring and his last name within 6 months of meeting him, her name on the deed, redesigned every inch of the house to suit her needs, including the children's rooms, and had an appraiser come to look over the house in hopes of, according to my child, having it valued at at least $200,000.00. Noooo, she doesn't have an agenda!!!
I used to be very immature about the situation. When either of my children would make a comment about something that their grandmother had said about me, I would snap back with something about her. This, however, made me less of a person in their eyes. After all, this is their grandmother, and, no matter how much I dislike her, I will never be able to change this. I must say that probably as far as grandmothers go, the best kind to have is the overbearing kind such as she. She certainly has been very giving and generous to her grandchildren. They are learning though, especially the older one, what she is all about. I have given up trying to defend myself against any remarks that are made against me, and I have found that I am much more at ease with the situation. If I were to continue worrying about what that woman did and said, when would I have time to live my own life?
I'm living now.
