It's amazing what children pick up on these days! Even when you think that your children are out of hearing distance, they probably aren't! I overheard a group of 10 year old girls talking at the park today. The things they said just amazed me! They were talking about one child's father cheating on her mother, then her mother leaving him. Another child was speaking of her father punching her grandfather. It made me wonder why and how these children know about these things at such a young age. Did their parents want them to know about their situations or was it something they overheard?
I live across the street from a park so I observe a lot of children with their parents while sitting outside with my children. There are actions I hear or see that sometimes sickens me! There are groups of children that can't be any older than 7 that come to the park alone and speak to one another as if they were 20! The cuss and scream and even sometimes talk about smoking cigarettes! It just makes me sick to think that these children are not having a normal childhood.
Normal childhood. What is that really? In my opinion when I hear the words normal childhood I think of children playing games and running around using their imaginations regularly. They are not exposed to violence, pornography, harsh language, abuse, or any other form of corruption. They are sweet little angels who have so much to learn! They don't see the bad in the world, not yet. They only see the good, most question everything and are very curious, never stopping to see if their words make sense, just talking because they know how. Pushing their limits to see how far they are allowed to go, climbing trees, swinging, sliding down the big slide and, most importantly, laughing the whole while! We don't normally see this in today's society. I'm not sure if I can even call that a normal childhood anymore!
In my opinion normal has shifted to a new scale! It is no longer normal for a child to act like a child. When children use their imagination to often, or have to many "wiggly worms" in their body which makes them not be able to sit still because they are just itching to play, which is exactly what they should be doing, they are considered to have ADHD. When it takes them just a little longer to learn something, they are diagnosed with a disease and then given tons of medicine which drags them down even more, and takes their will to do pretty much anything away from them! Children are not supposed to just sit and be still, they were meant to run and frollick! It is a natural desire for them to ask questions, run, jump, play, talk, and make a mess! It is our job, as parents, to raise them to know how to behave when behaving is necessary and to also be respectful and know right from wrong! It is not our job to completely cut their dreams and aspirations down!
Anyway, I want to warn parents that although your children may not act like they are listening to your conversation, they are! They pick up on everything and they don't have quiet mouths! One reason for them telling other children or adults what is going on in their house is because they have learned from society that gossiping is something that adults do for fun or popularity so they do it for the same reason. (This is worse with girls and the reason for this is obvious! We girls talk a lot more than most boys!) The other possible reason for sharing their problems is because they are worried or even scared and are reaching out for help. I do understand that every family has it's problems, believe me we have our own share, however children are to young and immature to understand any of it. They do not have to ability to separate non-fiction and fiction. I recently attended a parent's night at a public school and the principal was speaking of how children will come to school and talk about adult matters and in the same sentence speak of their kitty then adult matters, then their puppy. This was to prove that children do not have the maturity level to understand why adults do what we do!
I urge you if you are a mother or father that confides in your children, please consider their maturity level. If a matter is stressing you out, telling your child is only going to stress them out as well. If you are a divorced couple, please do not talk ill of your ex-spouse, do not make your children choose sides! This will put so much stress on them and can cause severe depression and anxiety! They know that you are divorced and they probably know why, even though they most likely do not fully understand it, and they don't need to! They love both of you equally and you shouldn't want it any differently! I know that in some situations you are probably saying "yeah, well, you don't know my situation and you don't know what he/she did to me" That is true I don't know your particular situation, however unless your ex did something specifically to your child/children, you should not keep your children away from him/her. They love your child just as much as you do and your child deserves both of your love! I came from a "broken" home and my mother didn't come around. A day didn't go by that my father didn't say one bad thing about my mother. She really hurt him so in his mind it was OK to talk badly about her, however because of this my brother now has no respect for women, and will have nothing to do with my mother. My point here is that it does affect your children and can affect them severely, so please, please, please don't do it!
I also urge you to monitor what your child watches, who your child associates with, what your child's friends parents are like, and any other stimulation your child has! It's very important that your children are not exposed to negative influences without positive influences outweighing the negative! Teach your children right from wrong and how to behave when they are exposed to a negative situation. If you are religious teach them how God sees the situation and what He would want them to do.
My last and final words are these, love your children, protect your children, love your children!
