Can children get past what they learn at home? I don’t mean the fortunate children that have happy homes. I mean the children that are raised in the homes of abusive parents, neglectful parents and are not in the best of situations. I feel that they can if they are told that just because that is how they had a life doesn’t mean that they are suppose to carry on what their parents are like.
They say that it is a cycle, that a child that was beaten will have children and beat them and those children will go on to beat theirs. I don’t always feel like that is what happens. I have even heard that it is genetic. Well, if it is genetic, I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t know their birth parents who where adopted by loving and caring people. Because they could have the genetics to beat their children and not even know it.
I think that when they grow up and meet other people and learn about the other people they learn that there was a different way to be raised. That they weren’t alone but at the same time that there were more loving ways to be punished for bad behavior. But there are times when that doesn’t help and intervention is needed. When people say that they need to break the cycle and that they have got more to offer than beatings.
But to think of it that there are people that were, loved in childhood. That were not neglected, abused or beaten, then why do those parents start beatings, or neglectful behavior to their children? What made the difference? There is no difference. The main reason that these happen is because of the tolerance that the parents have. The patience that the parents have for their children to grow. That is where the problem is. Young parents hold regret, and resentment and very often are left to parent on their own. Without instruction they are lost and don’t know how to react and they react the way that they can in an emotional bind of not knowing what to do. There is the answer. It has nothing really to do with the way that we are raised it has a lot to do with the support and the ability to cope with what happens as a parent.
