Why do so many parents “follow the trend?”:
While it is always in the best interest of our children, there are an over abundance of issues being addressed by professionals who are addressing these issues from their own opinionated point of view. Because these professionals are considered to be authorities on the subject of child rearing, parents pay attention to them. But there are as many opinions as there are professionals, and most of them do not agree with each other.
Parenting is the most difficult position for which we are responsible. We have little or no prior experience for this position. And there is a great deal of anxiety and self-doubt among new parents. Everyone wants to do a good job, but nobody is confident enough to step up and follow their own instincts. A new parent suddenly has forgotten they were children once, were raised by parents who also did not have prior training, and just look… they turned out fine!
Because it is always a good idea to live our lives in moderation in all things, it is important to remember this when we are raising our children. I am one of those parents who made the decisions concerning what was acceptable for my children to do; where they were allowed to go; and with whom they were allowed to spend a great deal of time. I also made the final decisions on items they wanted for their entertainment, the amount of time they were allowed to spend on various forms of entertainment, and what the bottom line was for the expense of this entertainment. These were all accomplished by instilling in my children one all important rule… that things had to be age appropriate, that the items were something the child earned/deserved through their general behavior, academically and personally, and that they be responsible enough to have the particular item.
Although I sometimes consulted Dr. Spock, he seldom addressed the particular problem on which I was seeking advice. I did not alter my methods because a book suggested I might be "doing it wrong". The author did not personally know my child. I had goals in mind concerning what I intended to instill in my children. I had a solid recollection of how I was raised (which I thought worked out just fine), and I felt I could not improve on the basic methods used by previous generations of my family.
Television came into its own when I was a child and our family was among the first to own one. That did not alter my activities and interests at all. Television was something my parents were interested in and there was very little programming that grabbed my attention. Even though it was new, and some of my friends were slightly envious, I found it boring.
Unlike today where the kids all have to have the same ____ (fill in the blank), I felt unique in that I was always my own individual and did not want to have something that "everybody else" had. In those days, being an individual person was very important. We didn't all dress alike, look alike or act alike.
Just about everybody was involved in activities that kept us in great shape. We were a generation of kids who walked miles just for the fun of it. We rode bikes everywhere just to explore. Spending the day in the house was something we did (reluctantly) because it was raining outdoors. We roller skated on the streets and sidewalks, we played unorganized ball games, and we didn't have just one friend, we had five or six best friends.
Winter never, ever kept us in. We were all out the door at the first snow flake and played out in it until we were just too cold to stay out any longer. We coasted on sleds, went ice skating, built snow forts and had snowball fights. We also had rosy cheeks, bright eyes, and seldom had sickness. We were healthy.
Of course, many of you reading this will say, “Well, there were no computers, video games, DVDs, cell phones, etc.” But, I can tell you this with no hesitation: In those days, as kids, none of that would have been of major interest to us. We were social creatures who placed a great deal of value on having friends and enjoying our growing up years. We were well aware that the future held worldly responsibilities and serious endeavors that would take us into adulthood. But, at the moment, we were allowed to be kids. We became respectable teenagers, and we had certain responsibilities as were taught to us by our parents.
By way of contrast, all of the technological advances readily available to kids today, (at great expense), have lead to a generation of overweight, over-indulged and self-centered kids. Just because the technology is out there does not mean that every child has to have it. Again, things need to be age appropriate. Things need to be something earned and/or deserved. And, parents should not have to go broke just to keep the kids happy!
I have personally seen kids actually demand that the parents buy them a cell phone. Being irresponsible, lazy and out of control kid wasn't even an issue. When the parents do not have the word “NO” in their vocabulary, and back up their reason for giving in with the excuse that all the other kids have one, I have to ask: “If they all smoked crack would you allow your kid to do it?” In addition to the cell phone, there is the cost for its use, and there are no set rules regarding the cost. Unfortunately, this is not an isolated case.
Although I have had the opportunity of observing kids and teenagers in my own community, and can honestly say I am proud of them, there are still too many who are not properly encouraged to get involved in the world they live in. There is no incentive for taking responsibility. For those who take advantage of the wonderful recreation facilities available throughout our city, there is promise for their future. These kids are learning, sharing and staying active. They should be proud to be such a shining example to those who vegetate in front of their T.V. or live in their video world of games.
