Family traditions are more than silly diversions. They are the glue that holds families together, and they need to be nurtured to keep the family healthy.
In the hustle and bustle of our busy world, it's easy to relegate lots of “extras” to the trash heap or the attic of our lives. Who has time for games when you are working 40 hours (or more) each week and then have to come home and clean the house, cook dinner, and get the kids ready for bed? Our crazy and wild schedule is squeezing out much of the fun of family life!
Families are built on time spent together, on shared history, and on mutual love and respect. All of these things need to be nurtured carefully, or like a neglected houseplant, they will wither and die. Yes, jobs and housework and yard work and personal time are all important parts of life. We generally do a good job prioritizing these things into prominent places in our lives. It's the little pleasures of family fun that seem to be escaping us, and these are the glue that hold families together.
Family fun does not have to cost a fortune, or take up most of your time. It does not have to be relegated to weekends or vacation times. In fact, it is very important to lubricate everyday life with fun. But, how can you work it in? How can you squeeze one more thing into your busy schedule? Read on for some suggestions.
First of all, look for the fun in shared activities. Even if the activity you are doing is considered “work,” you can create ways to liven it up. Like the famous song says, “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and ...SNAP!...the job's a game!” Your general attitude about the job will be contagious. Do you feel like you are doing drudge jobs, or something important to the family or home? If the work seems like drudgery, there needs to be an attitude adjustment! The chores of taking care of children and home are vital! Think for a moment what your house would look like if no one did these jobs. Mine would be a shambles in about four hours (if that!).
One of my personal goals is to provide my family with a safe and comfortable environment for the things they like to do at home. It's probably one of your goals, too. So, even chores that never seem to go away (like the dishes, laundry, and de-cluttering) become steps to something I want. I've found if I can focus on the goal instead of the chore, it helps my attitude considerably.
Now, here's the next step: Include the kids! I know, I know. The kids don't know how to “do it right” and they argue and they mess up and they complain and it's a big pain in the neck. But, as parents, it's up to us to teach the skills of caring for a home. They certainly won't learn it by magic! And the benefits when they do finally learn are: competent adults prepared to maintain their own homes, help with the chores before they grow up, and more free time for everyone. It's easier to put this off until some never-arriving tomorrow, but it's very important to start NOW to include the youngsters in this process.
Don't take no for an answer from your older kids, either. You are the in-charge parent, right? You can make them an offer they can't refuse: help with chores or lose important privileges. In our house, we sweeten the deal by really skimping on the allowance department (money handed out weekly just because) and instead pay by the chore. The kiddos have the option of earning quite a bit of money just by lending a hand. A white board on the back of the door lists the chores that need done on a given day, and the three of them choose at least one to accomplish.
It's also the message center for child-specific jobs, such as “Clean up the mess you made in the bathroom.” The system promotes responsibility, teaches chores, provides spending money, and gets us parents more free time. The big chores are done together. We teach the skills, sing songs, converse, and play games while we work. That's where the family fun comes in. Try having a scavenger hunt to clean up that big mess in the bedroom: have your child find all of the things with wheels and put them away. Then look for red things, or clothing, or books, or whatever. Award a point for each item found, and use the points however you want later... trip to the playground, go to the store, have a special treat.
After the chores are done, and you've hopefully had some help, it's time for everyone to take a break and have some fun together. How do you know when the fun is turning into a tradition? That's easy! When the kids start referring to the activity as “our annual” or “the way we always do.” I know we've started a new tradition when my children ask to repeat favorite activities by telling me “We've always done it this way,” when the reality is that we only tried it once last year! Here are some activity ideas to try at your house. If they're a hit, you may have a new family tradition on your hands. And either way, you will have added one more happy memory to your mental scrapbook. Time spent together is the most important ingredient to a happy home.
