I had a college professor who referred to adolescence as a time of, “normal insanity.” I thought that he was exaggerating, until I almost lost my own mind while parenting three teens.
My Qualifications:
You might be wondering why I'd be qualified to give advice on the teenage mind. Beyond the fact that I've been one myself and the tree teens I parented, I also took college courses in adolescent psychology. Besides, I was a teacher of high school students for several years, so I feel safe in assuming that I know a thing or two about the insanity of raising teens.
The Symptoms of Normal Insanity:
- Does your child seem to have no logic or reason? The reason, according to my experience, is this. Teenagers have no logic or reason, which seems perfectly logical to the unreasonable teen.
- Does your teenager seem to be demoniacally possessed? Do obscene things blurt out of his mouth? Does her head seem to spin completely around? Have you ever considered finding a priest to perform an exorcism? If any of these things are true, maybe I can reassure you. The teen often seems possessed, but by natural means. I referred to my teens as, “Hormonal Humanoids.” Don't despair, but be aware that only time and age can erase what you are going through today.
- Does your teen do crazy things? Do you wonder sometimes if you ever taught your teen anything? Have you ever been contacted by the police due to your teens stupidity? If so, I want you to know that someday you'll laugh about all those times when your child's teenage mind became temporarily insane. Statistically, it's a natural thing to be a crazy human being as a teen.
- Has your teenage child developed multiple personalities? Does it seem that mood swings show up more often than not? Is your child kind and sweet one moment and a mean, raving lunatic the next? Don't worry. It's only a test to see if you'll survive the process.
- Has anyone suggested to you that your teen might have the symptoms of a manic depressive? Do people think your child is “ADD?” Does he sleep all day long? Does she bounce off the walls? Does your teen talk too much, or not at all? Chances are they are only high on a hormonal trip and will return to earth, once gravity forces them to stop spinning around in the universe.
Survival Tips:
- Keep in mind at all times that this hormonal humanoid is your own flesh and blood. In the back of your mind, you might wonder what happened to the precious child that you're certain you gave birth to, but keep those thoughts to yourself. The teen may be as tall as six feet, but the fact remains that he or she still has the mind of a child. It's a proven fact that a teenager's brain is still not completely developed, so give it some time before you contact a priest or get a DNA analysis.
- Never leave the teen at home alone. It would be safer to leave a two year old on his own than your hundred pound teenager. Don't be fooled by the look of sincerity. Never say, “My child would never... fill in the blank.” Whatever you believe your child would never do will come back to haunt you. Instead, be prepared for whatever and be protected. Hire a wise and old lady to babysit who's been around the teenage block a time or two, but please don't ask me. You may need to remain within the insanity of your home until your child is ready to be on his own, which means that you'll have to reach deep for the courage you'll need to find.
- Do without the family vacation and save your money for your car insurance.
- Pray every day, but never pray for patience. If you do, God will give it to you, and you might regret that you asked him. Instead, pray that you child will give you no reason to pray for patience. In other words, pray every day for miracles.
- If you've come to the end of your rope, stay away from the edge of cliffs to avoid the temptation of jumping off of it. If all else fails, tie a knot on the end and hang onto faith as you dangle there in mid air, until the teenage years come to an end.
Conclusion:
Believe it or not, the age of normal insanity does come to an end. For me, it happened around the age of twenty-one for my sons and nineteen for my daughter. Still, since she was the youngest, I'd learned long before she became a teenager to pray for grace and miracles. It's an amazing thing to witness. Suddenly released from normal insanity, you'll begin to recognize the precious child to whom you'd given birth.
Today, I am happy to say that my three formerly insane teens have become admirable and exceptional adults. I take no credit for this, as I spent the time dangling in mid air, holding onto the end of my rope while God took over. Even so, surviving those years provided me with the ability to let them go. Like a bird with chicks in its nest, I learned how to say, “shoo.” Even so, they are my flesh and blood and it was hard to do.
Sometimes I find that I even miss those insane kids. I'm so proud to be their mother, and as for the insanity of their teenage minds, I hardly remember the horror. Because of this, I survived and I guess that means I've passed the test of time.
To conclude, remember this. In the end love always wins, no matter how insane it is.
