Living with in-laws is becoming a more common thing among Americans as the economy begins to slump. It seems easier for family to live in the same home and help each other out than to try and do it alone. For some young couples just starting out in the world this may seem like a very good option, while others are a little skeptical from the beginning. From experience I know that living with the in laws may be a blessing at first and then quickly move on to be a burden that is hard to get away from.
Young couples just starting out in the world have it rough these days. With student loans, the bad job market, and the slowing economy it has become nearly impossible to purchase a home when you first get started. Land is filling up quick and making it hard to find a nice small part of land that isn't completely out of your price range, or in the middle of nowhere. Factors continue to arise that make living at home with your new spouse seem like a good option. You think “we will just be here until we get on our feet” or maybe even “it's just until we find something we can afford”. You quickly find out that your “just a little while” winds up to be months if not years.
For personal additions my husband and I had an accidental pregnancy and I was put on bed rest for a while due to illness in the first few months. We had an apartment and were both working and going to college and once I was on bed rest we could no longer afford where we lived. My in-laws of course offered for us to move back home until I had the baby and then we would go from there. At first this was a true blessing since I couldn't do much and my husband was happy to be back in the same town that he grew up. My mother in law was a saint in the beginning and loved to cook for us and wash our clothes. I myself had always done the cooking for my family and it was a nice break. I didn't want her doing everything and didn't want her to feel like she had to take care of us so as soon as I had the o.k. from the doctor I began to pull my weight. It was hard because of being pregnant but I kept the clothes washed and food on the table to eat. It very quickly turned against me and my mother in law began to expect it. This became very hard once our daughter was born because I was a full time mom and still was expected to take care of 2 families. It wasn't long before she began to try and take over in the parenting of our daughter and interfered with our marriage as well. What it boiled down to was that she had her son and a grandbaby and there was no longer a use for me. She began to mock and be rude to me every chance she got, even going so far once to say that because I didn't want my father in law smoking around my child that I was stupid and should just leave. This caused strain between my husband and I but because of the recession, we had nowhere else to go and no way of getting a loan for our own home.
My story behind this is happening to more and more Americans as the year tracks on. More than 80 percent of the time it winds up being that the couple moves into the husband's parent's home. This seems to be the hardest because of the “mommy's little boy” factor that comes into play. The new married couple can no longer fight nor make love in private without someone stepping in. Couples moving into the wife's parent's home are just as bad because of the female's parents trying to make sure that their baby is taken care of. Once you are moved in and don't have to pay rent or loan payments life seems easier, but is it really? Is having to deal with no privacy worth the extra money in your pocket? Is your children being confused about whom to listen to worth that extra pair of jeans? Is it worth the questioning about where you are and when you will be home? Think twice before you decide on moving in with an already developed family and weigh the options keeping in mind that when living in close quarters, people change.
