In today's world, there are so many dangers to our children. Peer pressure encourages children to engage in behavior that may harm them. One way to ensure your child doesn't follow the crowd is to raise him to be socially awkward. So many potentially bad influences are eliminated if your child is friendless. But this is not an overnight project. You need dedication and commitment to create a truly unsociable child. It takes years of hard work and perseverance. The following guidelines should help you achieve your goal.
Convince your child he is completely different from other children. Your message should be that he has no peers. To reach maximum effectiveness, begin this tactic as soon as possible. Some ambitious folks start at birth. The obvious way to achieve this goal is to make the child feel that he is a disappointment, that every other child is better than him and that he is worthless. However, this often brings unwanted attention from grandparents, teachers and other “concerned” parties. An often overlooked technique, however, is to convince the child he is better than everyone else in some way, that he is smarter or more talented, for example. This is the method I recommend. In order for this to work, you have to go beyond simply praising the child's talents. You must actually make the child feel that other children are beneath him. This method is much harder to criticize and equally successful. This step is very important, as it makes the child feel isolated even when he is with other children.
Now that you have convinced the child that he is special and gifted, you have to start sending mixed messages. For instance, if you have gotten the child to believe he is smarter than every other child on earth, you need to treat him with disdain. Speak to him in a contemptuous tone of voice. Correct him with phrases like “for someone who's supposed to be so smart, you sure act dumb” and “don't you ever think before you act?” Adapt the technique to your specific situation. If you've targeted other talents, simply criticize the way the child performs in those areas. The goal here is to keep the child totally off balance. This will make the child completely unable to trust his instincts.
Expect perfection. He should be under pressure to get everything right the first time. Constantly belittle him for every mistake. Laugh cruelly at his expense. Make him feel that he has let everyone down. When he does manage to do something right, say nothing. Excessive praise will only give him a big head. If you do this correctly, the child will always feel inadequate. This is a perfect way to merge the two previous guidelines.
Once your child is old enough to notice, make him look different from other children. Goofy haircuts are a must. The best way to achieve this is to cut his hair yourself, at home. Another option is to bring him to a hairdressing school and let the students practice on him. In addition, dress him in clothes that are unlike anything other children wear. Choose odd colors, unpopular fabrics or outdated styles. Many thrift stores carry a line of clothing that fills the bill. Clearance racks at outlet stores can be a goldmine of ugly clothes if you look carefully.
Minimize his access to other children. Don't allow him to have friends from school over. Never approve sleepovers, home or away. Keep him out of scouting and other social groups. Be sure to tell him frequently all the shortcomings of the children he knows. Tell him he can do better than “those delinquents”. If he seems to be becoming friends with another child, forbid him to talk to that child. If he does play with other children, cut it short when they start to have fun.
Do not allow your child to see you socializing. Keep your own friendships to yourself, or better yet, don't have friends. Avoid small talk with strangers. They might want something from you. Children learn by example. If you are friendless, he will accept that as a normal lifestyle. If you are suspicious of the motivations of everyone you meet, he will be too.
By following these simple steps, you can raise a socially awkward child. He will not believe he is likable. He won't know how to approach another child, nor will he know what to say if they approach him. He will believe that everyone is laughing at him. He will never feel comfortable with other people. In addition, he will have no self esteem. He'll spend his life wondering why he isn't good enough, feeling incompetent in every situation. His place will always be on the outside, looking in. In other words, he will be safe from peers who will try to lead him astray and you will be able to congratulate yourself on a job well done.
