This is probably one of the most delicate issues that many of us would ever have to face. The ability for a child to cope with a sudden loss or change today, could affect how they perceive their life into the future. Much of their hope and healing depends on how you help them deal with that grief.
There is a time for grieving and it's a necessary part of the healing process both mentally and emotionally, as hurtful and tearful as it will be. It is important that you don't rush them through it - some might take longer than others to get closure on their loss.
Sometimes the best way to help them through it is to give them something in its place. It could be a physical object or a suggestion of hope.
When a child's parent dies, it seems to them that all hope is gone because their loved one is gone. It's good to encourage the child that their parent is not dead, but rather, moved on to do a job for God. Let them know that Heaven is real and that it's where their parent is now, and where they will be later.
When they realize that, they regain the hope that they will see their parent one day. It creates a connection that allows the child to actually face tomorrow because they know it's a day closer to seeing their loved one. They regain their security because they know their parent is alive, and that they are alive in them.
Sometimes that hope alone will give the child a confidence to keep going, but sometimes they need something physical to give their attention to. Something like a cuddly puppy or kitten that is filled with the love that they are missing is the perfect supplement to help them through their time of grief.
But there are many other instances where children grieve for their losses. One would be them being uprooted from the only home they knew and from the only friends they ever had, to a new location far away. The loss of their friends and their security can be devastating and cause them to become very secluded and afraid to be with people.
Sometimes the fear that they'll move again and lose any new friends they make will prevent them from being social and making new friends. Forcing them to socialize only pushes them away further. A positive step to helping them through this would be to allow them to keep in touch with their old home friends.
It doesn't have to be a daily routine but it can be something that is done periodically when you notice that the stress of leaving is getting to them. It would boost their morale and their confidence for them to know that they are gone and not forgotten.
It may take some time but it will help the child to regain their inner security because they know that they still have their friends at their old home even though they can't be with them. This helps them to loosen up and be free to make new friends because they have this confidence.
The time period for a child's grief can be long and stressful for those around them, as well, because it takes a lot of patience and understanding to be able to cope with the situation without making judgements or becoming opinionated. Patience is the key word.
If you are there for them - ready to listen, ready to love them - they have an excellent chance of getting through their grief without incident. It won't be easy and it won't be without tears, but it will be with hope.
