Independence
As parents we sometimes want to keep our children babies as long as possible. Some of us are planning for them to move out when they are only 2 years old. LOL! Well, in American society, this is what we do. At about 18 years old we let our kiddies fly the coop! It can be a little hard for some of us to do. We should plan to teach our children independence, interdependence and dependence from early on. As they grow, these lessons should grow with them.
When my son was only 2 years, I began to teach him little things like bathing himself and feeding himself. Of course, I helped and did so for many more years. The point was giving him a certain amount of independence. By 4 years old, I even allowed him to pick his own clothes. Even if they didn't match, he was empowered to choose. So, these are some things that can be done for the youngsters. Give them small responsibilities.
As our children grow, it is our responsibility to teach them to be well able adults. To teach them this, we have to be a bit well adjusted ourselves. With punishing a child, we end up being on punishment ourselves. When teaching a child, we end up learning a lot. So, don't think that you can't do it, because you can. The more you teach the more you learn.
I know that life is not easy and we won't always follow our own advice, let alone someone else's. But I give my advice never the less. For our teenage children… we have to be “not-so-quick” to judge their decisions. Be more of a guidance counselor than a parent or a tyrant. Remember when you were 16? Exactly! What kind of guidance may you have needed? That will be the same guidance that your teen needs today.
Interdependence
This is not only an article about independence, but interdependence and dependence as well. So teaching them about interdependence is the good old give and take. Our youngsters need a good lesson in giving and taking. Some kids learn great lessons in giving and not in receiving. Some learn how to take and not much on how to give. A well able adult is able to do both.
Interdependence is about giving and receiving, but a child should also learn that most people don't learn the balance between the two. Some will be on one side and not the other. A lot of parents let world outside teach their children interdependence. Not because the parent is bad, but because "how do you teach that?" Well, I am glad that you asked.
You can teach your child good interdependence by doing what you say and holding your child accountable for what they say. If you can't do what you originally said, make that clear instead of ignoring the issue. Because interdependence comes down to trusting others. If you don't learn how to trust in your house, then it will be hard to do it out in the world.
Another way you can teach interdependence is working on projects together. You can also play games together. Go do volunteer work together. Anything that you do together is going to weave in interdependence. By the way, have I said the word "interdependence" enough in this article?
A place where interdependence is widely used is in the business world, where one job depends on another. Everyone working together is the goal of interdependence.
Dependence
Finally, the last great lesson to teach our youngsters is how to depend on someone else. We teach them that by merely taking good care of them. We can also teach our youngsters that all people are not dependable. Teach them that it is ok that another person is not so dependable. If that person is not dependable then we know not to trust them with important tasks in the future.
So, here concludes my article. If our children learn the there "dependencies" as I like to call them. This can help them to be well able adults. Each child is different and will learn at different paces. I believe if they get these lessons then you don't have to worry much for them as adults and you can trust that they can move out and do well on their own.
