In a world filled with pornography, sex, drugs and psychopaths it is very hard to give your teenager the freedom to explore their individuality. Safety is every parents concern and freedom is the teenagers’ war cry. If you consider your teenager as an individual then perhaps you can come to some mutual understandings. Here are some ideas to help you and your teen.
- The first step is to understand how mature your teen is. Is your teen dependable and trustworthy? Does s/he think before acting?
- Start with small freedoms. Trust your child – but not blindly! Have them earn the right to larger freedoms.
- Use positive reinforcement. Reward favorable behavior and take away privileges for unacceptable actions. Make sure and discuss your reasons.
- Check up on them. Look at the history on the computer or ask to see the account at the local movie store and see what your teen has been viewing.
- Know who their friends are. Get to know the friends parents.
- Be vigilant. Watch for personality changes then decide if they are due to peer pressure or hormones. Decide if the changes are detrimental to your teen or just a phase that you can live through.
- Monitor school work. Offer rewards for favorable marks but know your child’s limits and don’t make the rewards unattainable.
- Open your house to your teen’s friends. It’s easier to keep track of them and if they know they have somewhere to go then perhaps they won’t be wandering aimlessly.
- Allow them to make decisions and then discuss the consequences of those decisions. Sometimes the chain reactions that occur are not always obvious.
Nothing is fool proof and as a loving parent you are always going to worry but trust that you’ve given your child a strong foundation and help him/her build the confidence to stand up to their peers and make well thought out decisions. They will make mistakes and it’s important you make sure they learn from them but never withhold your love. Love is unconditional and that is perhaps the most important lesson they can learn.
