Father's Day

Last Saturday, my father and I decided to head to our old municipal course to walk nine holes. It's a sad little course. The fairways are rougher than unkempt back yards. The "greens" are more like "browns," considering they're all dirt and sand, with no grass. It's very much like putting on a public beach, with more footprints. And, as I hear, the course is about to give way to progress; it's going to have a new road amputate about one third of its holes. But, for all of its shortcomings the course has two bonuses: its golf; and its home.

It is where my father got me to play. Where he somehow found a way to pull me away from baseball, friends, and sleeping on an early Saturday morning, an begin me on the path of playing the game that I now love. This wasn't an easy task. I wasn't much into the game at the time, but some mornings, (sometimes after some willful persuasion and an offer for lunch afterwards,) I would set aside my other endeavors and go with my father to the course. And, I always loved every minute of it! Even then, in the "wonder years" of middle and high school, I knew that the time we were spending together was special. It was something that could never be taken away from us. It was important to my father, and it was important to me.

Although my father is only an average golfer, he has been the best teacher I have ever had. He always remained cool on the course (no matter how bad a shot he or I just pulled off,) and he taught me to carry this on into life. Not to withhold your emotions of elation or sadness, but to never let these emotions get in the way of your next decision. This has become one of my most valuable lessons, on and off the course.

Playing the "muni," we always shot for the elusive 40, which was seven over par for our short course, but we never seemed to hit it. I remember a few 41's and 42's, but I don't seem to recall ever hitting the big 40! But, there were two more important things for us than the score; having fun, and talking. On the course we could not only talk as father and son, but also man to man, and best friend to best friend. On the course our minds were open, and we were free to share anything that was inside.

But, for the past few years we haven't played many rounds together. As fathers and sons grow older they usually grow farther apart. Though we have tried to make time for things together (and in many areas succeeded) golf has not been one of those things. Most of my rounds are played with friends, not family, and until last Saturday, my father and I hadn't played golf together in over a year.

A lot has changed over that year. I feel in some ways the relationship has changed. I've made some mistakes over this year. I've forgotten some lessons already learned, only to have them driven home for yet another time. But my father has never judged, he simply forgave, and helped me as much as any other father could have possibly helped their son. Now, I'm not sure I've ever really told my father how much his being there for me helped me. I'm not sure he knows how much I appreciate everything he has done for me in my life. And, I'm not sure I've ever told my father how much the Saturday morning rounds together meant to me either, but I think that somewhere inside he knows all of this. But, if not, I hope he does now.

So finally, we get to play the first round of golf together in over a year last Saturday, and it was perhaps the best one yet. Once again we were less concerned with score, and more determined to have fun. I believe we succeeded in having fun, and more importantly we talked. We talked once again as father and son. We talked once again as a man to a man. And, we talked once again as best friend to best friend. My father told me during the round that my swing had never looked better, and what I should have told my father was that I felt the same way about his. And the lessons learned here as a young man came rushing back to me. The little "muni" course was serving as a constant reminder of things I will never forget.

As we both walked to the car after finishing the ninth hole we realized that we had both finally broken 40. We had reached the elusive goal that we had tried so hard to reach in the past, almost without trying at all. And this gave me one more lesson to be learned from this course; to realize that sometimes good things just happen! I've never had to try to gain the love of my father, it was always given. And I will always give that love in return. It will always be there.